pillow thoughts

excerpts from pillow thoughts – the book with a jellyfish

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

she's that girl
who doesn’t believe
in herself
all that much.

and for the life of me
I can’t understand why
because my belief in her
goes beyond the sky.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

all your sadness is yours
and I will love you
because of it all

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

I will not bandage all your
Wounds

I will not kiss all your
Bruises

I will not admire all your
Scars

instead I will watch you
as you bandage yourself
and mend all your bruises
and wear your own scars

because you are your own
Hero

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

the distance
isn’t going to be easy.
no one wants to sleep
in an empty bed
while you think about
the one you love
sleeping in theirs.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

but life has plans for all people.
even if those plans separate us
from the ones we love.

no matter where my life takes me
or yours takes you,
I will love you.

whether there are
a thousand miles
between us
or none at all.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

time is valuable.
for all the time we’ve lost
by not being together,
it has made you
the most valuable thing to me.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

but your love is not with you,
not tomorrow,
or the day after,
or the next.

so you find your lover
in your dreams,
and this is why you are always
smiling in the dark,
right before you sleep.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

I have dreamt every night
of the morning
we are together again.

you will be drinking coffee
and I will be talking about
how the leaves are changing.

in your absence,
I can barely speak a word.
but soon you will be home,
and I will watch the leaves
until we are together again.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

jealousy will be a part of every relationship. you cannot run from it because it will always exist. but do talk about it. your feelings are valid and shouldn't be dismissed.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

you shouldn't lose sleep
over somebody
any more than they should
lose sleep over you.
but you do.
we all do.

and we call this love.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

love is all around us.

love is a mountain,
a river,
a hand to hold.

it is courageous,
fierce,
honest,
and bold.

it is a shoulder
when you weep
a blanket
when you sleep.

it is family.
it is strength.
it is faith.

love has no boundaries,
no gender,
love just exists.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

and in the end
it all matters,
this distance that we are,
creating all this longing.

the butterflies
I feel for you,
listening to our song
on the radio,
the way I miss you
even in the early hours
of the morning.

wondering about the day
I will have you
through the night before.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

I’ve made a funny little habit of parking out near the bay. I like to watch the planes take off, fly overhead, and disappear into the clouds. I pretend I am up there too, on my way to see you.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

before the river takes our love
and carries it out to sea,
I want to thank you
for loving someone
as broken as me.

may your nights
become less brutal,
and your mornings
a little kinder.

I hope you find warmth
with someone older
and a little wiser.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

how can we be
so in love
and yet so alone?

it’s been so hard
how many more days
must we be apart?

all the nerves
in my heart,
wondering if
things have changed.

all the time apart,
wondering if
we’ll still be the same.

I miss you when I am alone.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

wait for me
I am coming home.

wait for me
you are the soul
I have always known.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

let’s just stay in bed all day and I’ll play with your hair. we can share every innocent dream and talk about all our fears and I will run my hands across your thighs and your hips. tell me softly that you love me, because when you say my name, my heart will never be the same.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

you take up all
the space in my heart
and when you are not here,
I am jealous of the sheets
that hold you.

I am kept awake
by the distance
that keeps us apart.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

I will love you through all the miles and the thoughts late at night. I will love you through every day and as the darkness turns to light. it’s four o’clock in the afternoon and this is the hardest part. but this is the way I love you, even if most days we are apart.

[pillow thoughts @pillowxthoughts]

it’s midnight and
I thought about
boarding a plane
and meeting you
in the city.

I thought about
stitching you into my skin
so you’d be with me
as I slept.

I wish you were here
or I were there.

my head is pounding
I just want to kiss you
it’s midnight
and all I want is you.