Christopher Medeiros

Why do you say "fattening" like it's a bad thing?

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@scriblerian An Everlasting Meal by Tamar Adler - balm on the mind and soul!

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

Name a more vestigial trait than heterosexuality. I’ll wait

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@christaleisays Lavander, old book bindings, baking bread, grilling masa, Loreal Kids Cherry Almond shampoo, and certain armpits

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@RohitaKadambi Yeah actually I bet gender presentation-motivated violence would go way down if we all traveled with fire breathing labradoodles

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

Second happy thought: random STRANGERS don’t attack you any time you make eye contact

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

Happy thought of the afternoon: in the real world wild animals don’t randomly attack you throughout the day like they do in Pokémon

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@RohitaKadambi Omg VIP response tweet

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

Would it accurately characterize the development of straight men's fashion to say that it exists to make their wallets, not their bodies, look good?

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

I posit that the original Pokemon intro song is my generation's Rocky Theme

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@inknose What is a Dragon Kid and how I become one

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@sonotoffensive also you say "dishwasher" like everyone knows how to use one of THOSE

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

The move is to keep things casual until you know he knows how to wash a dish

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@sonotoffensive this is actually specifically the kind of person this test is intended to weed out! how neat!

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

If you've ever taken g out of a disposable plastic cup you don't need to worry about what's in the vaccine

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@VZWSupport I've followed and DMd and have received no response

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@verizon your customer service line has been telling me I'm calling outside of normal business hours. It's 11am on a Tuesday and this is the third time this has happened in the space of a week. Fix it

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@VZWSupport Your customer service line has no one answering it and REPEATS the message "you can reach a Verizon representative any time from ____ to ____" and over the past week I've verified that this is very definitely a LIE it is NOT TRUE

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@VZWSupport I got this phone this week, which is why I know this customer service problem is ONGOING and UNADDRESSED because I spent an hour LAST WEEK trying to talk to someone on the phone

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@VZWSupport I don't want to be saved a phone call, I don't want to be LIED to by a recording saying that I can reach a Verizon representative any time from 9am-6pm because that's clearly not true. The replacement phone you sent me "certified like new" doesn't work

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@NYCTSubway This was an on-board announcement on an uptown Q as we were stuck for 40 minutes between 57/7 and 63/Lex but the problem is widespread. The intercom announcements are almost always quiet, mumbled, and not spoken clearly enough

[Christopher Medeiros @pinche_chrees]

@MTA it makes it twice as infuriating that my train has been sitting on the platform for twenty minutes that y'all are WHISPERING into the mic to tell us what's wrong. Turn the damn volume up