Pip

[Pip @pipdaddy2]

Roses are red, violets are blue somebody buy me some crab Rangoon.

[✨ @Aliyuh21]

i’m tired of bars hiring instagram btchs my drink nasty af

[faded than a ho @FRAME_MOGGER]

Beer taste so good without a bitch in your ear telling u its number 22

[Russ @MrNCEO]

No email has ever found me well

[Pip @pipdaddy2]

Football being on TV after work is so badass

[UKEME THERULA @uktherulaa]

when somebody asks me to do something I’m already doing.

[ً @artfuIchaos]

can’t believe it’s already August. time flies when you live life on survival mode and work everyday of your fucking life.

[As Shopped As It Gets @AsShopped]

Hard to believe that the guy on the right destroys the guy on the left

[Karen McGee @karenmotherof2]

I guarantee you I could beat the shit out of Jonah Hill

[• @yducknow]

When that turn just a lil too hard

[Skreddah @Skreddah]

I was 7 watching 1000 ways to die on Spike TV

[Bobby Spence @postcrabcore]

Damn this would be sick though lol

[ol’ stocky ⛳️ @oldstocky]

Watching the homeless guy already day drinking while I’m on my way to work

[Jake Ciely @allinkid]

JAN: don't overreact to training camp
FEB: don't overreact to training camp
MAR: don't overreact to training camp
APR: don't overreact to training camp
MAY: don't overreact to training camp
JUN: DON'T OVERREACT TO TRAINING CAMP

July: open twitter and see any highlight ...

[angel @angelshit]

I hired that mosquito to bite you

[Rick seven @rickerdoodle300]

Yo mama’s so fat she needs to take glp-2s

[Wakandantechsupport @SkylerB97]

First person to say "f*** you and the horse you rode in on" had to be heated cause why'd the horse catch a stray?

[CallUnc @Callunc]

When someone calls your name right after you jus sat down

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.