Richard Nixon called me today. We spoke for about 20 minutes. He was in good spirits. I mentioned Argentina's big comeback against Egypt today; he said he never met Perón but had spent a lot of time with Sadat. Said he couldn’t believe all the shit Trump is getting away with, and that if Trump was going to go for a third term, maybe he should run again too. I said that would go a long way to restoring at least some integrity in government, and that I'd do anything I could to help.
BREAKING: Nurses at Mitch McConnell's hospital bedside say they've yelled into his ears, "There's a Black president trying to fill a Supreme Court vacancy!" and he didn't stir at all.
BREAKING: White House staffers are reportedly worried Trump's speech amid a heat wave will result in a "grotesque image" where his hairdo is ruined with sweat leaving streaks down his orange makeup, and his massively swollen cankles could rupture rubbing against his tight shoes.