wesley pipes

i’m too stupid for twitter follow me on instagram.

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when my dad walks in on me fully nude eating sour cream off of my chest and asks how many marijuanas i’ve done

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those billionaires wives are now the billionaires. that’s progress folks. #malefeminist

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banning elf bars? what’s next taking God out of our schools?

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wow @McDonalds this is so sad 😩

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checks out

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my parents at my age: let’s refinance our home

me:

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me penning the series finale of Succession since the whiny writers are on strike😭🖌️💁🏻‍♂️

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babadababababa

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a few weeks ago in a burst of uncontrollable rage i told my dad to “suck my fucking dick” and i have not emotionally recovered since

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hmmm

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list of things i like to eat at 1am (in order):

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i don’t steal jokes but if i did i’d put them right back where they were after using them

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me & the boys realizing it’s #InternationalWomansDay

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true

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me being removed from the bar after putting the ghostbusters song on 11 times in a row on the jukebox

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#kratom #kratomnation #shakeitoff

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swifties in shambles rn #taylorswift #swifties