Pip 💷

(parody account) small town lad with big dreams

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

starting from scratch seems like my best option but honestly...what do i do now? herbert is leaving and my family has changed so much and i have nothing...do i go back to joe and being a blacksmith and continue that??

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

honestly finding out where all my money came from has like. really changed how i see things :( i thought i was living this cool gentlemanly life and that's what i thought i always wanted but none of it was real, and i lost everything in the process

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

so turns out my benefactor is a fugitive and all the money has to be taken back since it's not really mine yet 😅i'm not only broke but also in massive debt...can i link my paypal or will the twitter god strike me down where i stand?

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

@herbertspocket thanks h i know you always got me

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

i haven't said anything here yet, but my sister passed away recently. she raised me and she wasn't the greatest but before i came to london she was the victim of a violent crime that left her disabled

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

idk i've just been thinking about all this stuff i've been trying to do with my life and it's starting to feel really empty :/ i've been trying to turn things around but i'm afraid i've dug too deep a hole

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

he was like...my best friend growing up. he was my brother-in-law and in some ways a father figure but he was also my only real companion while dealing with everything my sister put us through, and i turned my back on him and broke that bond

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

@herbertspocket i didn't even think about that, you're so right (you did not win by any means)

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

when i was a kid i used to hang out with this old lady, and it was always really weird because we would just like. walk around in circles and she would ask about my life and my future and stuff...turns out she's only like 40 years old??? herbert just revealed this to me recently

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

anyway i was just reminiscing (kinda) and thinking abt how confusing that part of my life was but also how much of an impact it had on me? like without that experience w/her i don't think i would have aspired to be anything more than a blacksmith...crazy

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

on the bright side that's where i met the loml/greatest hater <3 and i still think about that lady all the time but for reasons i cannot go into because i signed an NDA 🫡

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

to make things worse, he’s giving off crazy creeper energy, like i feel like i have to whisper 😭 chat i’m so unbelievably cooked

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

just hired an assistant with like less than 500 quid in my account…what was i thinking i’m so cooked

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

thank god i stumbled into great expectations because i can’t even begin to think what my life would be like 😭

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

i can’t believe i was supposed to be a blacksmith oh my god…..can yall imagine what a joke

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

@herbertspocket touché

[Pip 💷 @pipshandel]

i’ve had a crush on this girl for YEARS and she would not give two shillings for me…like she is actually so mean and rude to me but she’s so beautiful and elegant 😭 chat what do i do