Dave Pirie

[Julian Sanchez @normative]

Crucifixion is a terrible, terrible thing. Should never happen. And we may never know whether Jesus was guilty of crimes against Rome. Who can say? But thirty pieces IS a lot of silver, and it would be very foolish to turn it down.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

I have been on Twitter about five years, and this will be my fifth tweet reminding you that, while I see your requests, I will never join your LinkedIn network.

Never.

Ever.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

Donald Trump has been carefully studying the complex and interconnected natural systems of the Western Sierra, and he has some novel ideas about how those systems could be better managed for the safety and enjoyment of all.

Just kidding. He's a fucking pig.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor. Billions of dollars are given each year, with so many lives lost, all because of gross mismanagement of the forests. Remedy now, or no more Fed payments!

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

Not to brag, but I am an expert on the subject: Karen always did the reading.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@SoMuchMoxie drawer

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@totebagqueen Super cool and totally on brand that they appear to have pulled the image of an Aryan child from a Nazi propaganda pamphlet.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@michaelFhurley THE Rodney Pete?

[Paul Sporer @sporer]

Why does this announcer keep calling Dick Mountain “Rich Hill”????

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@totebagqueen can't lose.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@Muffofthewest @SMHSnow You better retweet every single Cole Sprouse tweet, Murph. After what you said about me on this very platform. Without my consent.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

.@smhsnow is aces. tops. the level best.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

Happy Holidays, @chuckschumer and @nancypelosi! More young Americans lose their legal status every day! https://t.co/95v4jDINk5 via @Splinter_news

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

Just a couple master legislators at work. @chuckschumer and @NancyPelosi: you are a disgrace. https://t.co/qhS6dB7LUy

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

Thanks for smarm-spaining it to me @tedcruz I know politics can be confusing, but you'd have more credibility if you spelled my name correctly. I mean IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! Maybe you're just distracted from watching porn at the office again❤️-mh https://t.co/nHpJVG1Wpe

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@kevin_broccoli *Genuine misanthropy.

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

Roll [Doug Jones]!

[Doug Jones] Eagle!

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

People of Alabama, 'Tis I, George Wallace. Do as I, George Wallace, say and vote for Doug Jones. I only want the best for Alabama, as I am George Wallace. Roy Moore hates you & Auburn & the Crimson Tide too. I'm George Wallace & I approved this message & whatnot.

[deray @deray]

48.2+56.6 = 104.8

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

Oh shit. I needed a win. This is it. This is my time. https://t.co/cBe6Hck5nL

[McDonald's @McDonalds]

The McRib® is back! Track down the saucy sandwich you love with the McRib Finder App. Download it now. https://t.co/ItpHeCh01M

[Dave Pirie @pirie9]

@SoMuchMoxie @futuremanonhulu I watched that program. 10/10. Would recommend.