Paul Kleiv

Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed.... Simply whelmed.

[IG:SinfulSoda @sinfulsoda]

I've been emotionally unavailable since 1992.

[Dat Dude @d_worddd]

Regina George is a life ruiner... She ruins peoples lives.

[IG:SinfulSoda @sinfulsoda]

I can't hang out with the same person too many times. I only own 9 shirts.

[KevinDohh @DohhKevin]

"Oh so you've got some bitch on the side?!"

"Actually I have a wife. You're the bitch on the side......... Good guess tho."

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

They should make a movie where the X-Men just take a day and run some errands

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

My go-to conversation topic at most parties is, "What am I doing here"

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

911? I saw my annoying neighbor twice in the hall today. Fine, fair point. I can see why this isn't a 911 issue. What's the FBI's number

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

Just once I'd like to forcibly enter a stranger's home without them making a big thing of it

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

Glad we settled on a definition everyone can agree with

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

My uncle's death hasn't hit me yet, but I have a feeling it will once he dies

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

I figured out my problem with Godzilla. If Godzilla actually existed, he would not be in some movie

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

I think I like Mario Kart because it indulges my fantasy of driving at high speeds while throwing garbage out of my car

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

Thinking about going to sleep. Great way to kill time before breakfast

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

Marked for extermination by my volleyball team

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

My greatest weaknesses? Well, I work too hard, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I cannot, under any circumstances, be trusted

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

Waiter, there's a problem with my food. I threw it on the floor in a fit of rage

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

When someone says, "I haven't seen you in forever," a fun response is, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"

[Road Dog Karl @HammerFist3]

We all have dreams, except for me, I don't. I don't have any dreams