this was something extra i made for valentines day. i had been working on a notebook filled with sentimentalities in our relationship (included times/dates, drawings, etc.) as her main gift. that's why i was "two days late" at the end 😭
sake, but i portray myself as phoenix, and ex is maya. i greatly exaggerated their personalities; i portrayed myself and edgeworth as typical condescending male debaters. i love how i portrayed von karma 😭
complete self-absorption, like i can't even understand them or what is happening by the end. or i think maybe just the situation in the game was difficult for me. lowkey triggered something lol
generally speaking, i have become quite difficult to conversate with as of late
pt.2 -- it was an experiment, again, for the sake of documenting my mental state. i deliberately isolate when i am in my head like this to blind myself
it reads to me like some depersonalization/derealization. i am hardly there by the end. scary
date of recording: 7/19
speaking of -- update on hppd symptoms: i don't know. it could be derealization/depersonalization from abusing dissociatives. nmda antagonism is notorious for eliciting a "permatolerance," oooor more precisely: tolerance that builds quickly and lasts forever
that's all for my non-scheduled tweets for the day (except for any replies/elaborations)! you can usually tell which ones are scheduled just by looking at the time they were posted. i felt like sick and tired death today
i love sato. his stage performances can be quite questionable, but i think it compliments the style well. he seems so happy and in the moment, it's infectious; but i also pick up a subtle melancholic quality from him. it's a very bittersweet feeling. bittersweetness is strange