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Jordan
@placenta_effect
there is absolutely nothing wrong with me at all
Joined August 2025
119
Following
64
Followers
789
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Jordan
@placenta_effect
2 months ago
The worst part about getting laid is washing the pepper spray out of my eyes
Jordan
@placenta_effect
about 4 hours ago
@mollypilled
Can you clean for me
placenta_effect
retweeted
Middle Class Mr Burns
@MrBurnsLovesYou
about 14 hours ago
If I had 9 lives, I’d use 8 of them to blow my head smooth clean off in front of people over the slightest inconvenience.
Jordan
@placenta_effect
about 5 hours ago
Doc said my chest hair is actually just algae, and I really fucking need to shower
Jordan
@placenta_effect
about 5 hours ago
@cheekclapperXL
I hope you’re proud of your penis bro, you deserve it
Jordan
@placenta_effect
1 day ago
Computa, what the hell is a social cue
Jordan
@placenta_effect
1 day ago
My pussy so wet it has evolved gills
Jordan
@placenta_effect
1 day ago
Accidentally date raping people because you have a carbon monoxide leak in your apartment
Jordan
@placenta_effect
1 day ago
Who needs ambien when you have black mold and a carbon monoxide leak
Jordan
@placenta_effect
2 days ago
Smuggling poop onto a plane
Jordan
@placenta_effect
2 days ago
Possible Mandela effect, my bed wasn’t wet when I fell asleep
Jordan
@placenta_effect
3 days ago
@sadhog12
What the fuck get out of my walls
Jordan
@placenta_effect
3 days ago
I can’t kill myself, my apartment is too messy and I’d be embarrassed when they find me
Jordan
@placenta_effect
3 days ago
I’d be way less depressed if knew how to do a backflip I think
Jordan
@placenta_effect
3 days ago
Doctors said I need more pussy in my life
Jordan
@placenta_effect
3 days ago
There’s a Chrysler 300 outside Walmart that’s selling kool aid baby formula
Jordan
@placenta_effect
3 days ago
Whoever said ChatGPT can examine your prostate if you put your phone up your ass lied
#hospitaltime
Jordan
@placenta_effect
4 days ago
@ou2chh
What happened
Jordan
@placenta_effect
4 days ago
Calling the fire department because I got my penis stuck in the big machine at work
Jordan
@placenta_effect
4 days ago
@other_st_nick
The C.K. In Louis C.K’s name actually stands for Louis Charlie Kirk
Jordan
@placenta_effect
4 days ago
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