Average Joe

Domestic Dad. Words and essays in @frednewspost and @frederickmag. Fan of newspapers and other endangered relics of material culture. #Maryland

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@jesse_k_fox I didn’t leave the church because I stopped believing in it. I still believed but felt the good didn’t outweigh the bad or the harms done. It wasn’t until I already left that I started realizing I no longer believed.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@StallionCornell @SuperMensch Where does that inclination come from I wonder. Like where on earth has he seen discrediting lived experience in favor of projected narrative modeled before? Hmmm. 🧐

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@staceeyeewell @LDS_Dems Yuuuup. They don’t allow that their position and perspective was once our own. And for me to a very intense degree. I was a 1,000,000% believer.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@John_Stone_ The bulk of the culture is represented faithfully by Bev in Midnight Mass. iykyk

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

The reasons why people leave church are many and varied. The reasons why most believers are noticeably incurious even as they vilify those who leave really boils down to the tone set by church leaders to protect the in-group.

[Jesse Fox @jesse_k_fox]

Why are we so willing to talk about people leaving the Church, but so reluctant to listen, I mean really listen to them?

I haven’t read Torn, and I know people have strong opinions about it. Personally, I enjoy hearing perspectives that challenge my own thinking.

What I find interesting is that a book about why people we love leave the Church, and what we can learn from them, has become controversial in the first place.

Maybe that’s because this topic is deeply personal.

Perhaps some people have a loved one who left and still don’t have answers. So, out of frustration they feel inclined to make their voices heard because someone writes a book and says we can do better.

Perhaps others have lived through the experience themselves. The title resonates because they know what it feels like to be torn.

Leaving the Church is often emotional for everyone involved. Those who leave are affected. The loved ones who remain are affected. Few people walk away from that experience unchanged.

That’s why I wonder where our focus should be. Should it be on the author? The critics? The debate?
Or should it be on the people actually living this reality?

The spouse trying to understand. The parent searching for answers. The child wrestling with faith. The friend trying to maintain a relationship despite different beliefs.

When the conversation becomes centered on a book or a controversy, I’m not sure much healing happens.

But when the focus returns to the people who feel torn, we have a chance to learn, to understand, and maybe even to help.

After all, the people who need our attention the most are those who are torn.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@Thundergod9010 Lies and exaggerations huh? And sin excuses? Sounds like you already know all the answers about them, then.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@stackerco @StallionCornell Lolol

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

Ma’am sitting on the edge of the city pool, this is not, I repeat NOT the time to POP THE ZITS ON YOUR HUSBAND’S BACK

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@stackerco Not just the narrative they hold on to. The narrative they were ecclesiastically and intentionally taught by prophets and apostles consistently since the 80s at least.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@moonbeeaam A novel is a made-up story right? So elements of plot, descriptive prose, fully developed characters & places that lend a sense of authenticity while still being wildly entertaining is quite the feat. And that kind of feat needs about 1,000 pages. Or whatever Monte Cristo is. 🤪

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@pimomormon Every time

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@bcbaker66 Sometimes the stories people tell to start religions are lies too.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@darkstartravels @LDS_Dems @StallionCornell *@LDS_Dems

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@darkstartravels @LDS_Dems @StallionCornell Me: the toxic Mormons on Twitter aren’t exclusively on Twitter. It’s a real life problem too in wards everywhere. See MAGA, deznat, toxic certainty, white supremacy, etc.

Some Mormons*: OMGosh you’re so negative, we’re not all rotten! In fact we’re the best people ever Waaahh!

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@csmaddox2008 I see. It seemed like a non sequitur to what I said, and on later reflection I thought, huh, she just zoomed right past that. I apologize for misinterpreting you. But maybe it seems you were trying to be empathetic?

The anger I felt isn’t toward my friends who ghosted me.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@darkstartravels @LDS_Dems @StallionCornell Yep yep yep!

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@csmaddox2008 Im curious if you realize that in response to me telling you that some of my active Mormon friends just ghosted me after it was clear I left, you just pivoted straight to characterizing exmos as angry. Do you realize you did that?

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@LDS_Dems How much understanding do you need before you offer any?

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@darkstartravels @LDS_Dems @StallionCornell I think my axis now is that what is troubling within church culture is directly tied to church leaders and their inability to correct it, their err in shaping it, and their unwillingness/lack of courage to adequately address it. And members have a hard time with that.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@darkstartravels @LDS_Dems @StallionCornell So do I. So many great members. But it’s to their detriment and to the detriment of the faith as a whole to turn a blind eye to 70% of their faith adherents being MAGA and therefore a sizable chunk of that troubling statistic are white supremacists and other…comorbidities?

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@reddingsbf Having a book always on your person helps too. Find yourself in a long line? Waiting room? Wanna sneak 3 pages to finish a chapter on your way from your parked car into a store while out running errands? It adds up.

[Average Joe @planetJoseph]

@reddingsbf Audio books is a game changer since you can be washing dishes, walking the dogs, pulling weeds picking up dog poop all while “reading.”

Also evening chill time can be books instead of tv sometimes