Paul Langstaff

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@Uber how do I go about reporting an incident with one of your drivers?

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@jsonneveldt16 @neverlessapp I can’t get Apple Pay to work either.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@lbc sure. Let’s give Donald some recognition for his peace-making efforts. Whist we are at it we should also recognise that Fred West did some fantastic bathroom extensions.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@JackLinks why is no one in Australia returning my phone calls or emails??

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@AngelaRayner Terribly sad. So sorry Angela.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@Tsarcastic_ 🤣

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@LBC I work in A&E in Australia. We are very well paid. We have an abundance of doctors from the UK who come to be paid properly after being trained at great expense in the UK. Your loss is our gain.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@BBCRadio2 Phil. Waiting for a bus in Perth. Western Australia. Some absolute bangers this morning. Thanks.

[Edi Rama @ediramaal]

https://t.co/WlIb8ZvFbC

Ooopsss… Mr.@Nigel_Farage himself has just challenged me on the facts!

What an honor — for a “giant man,” as he described me (meaning, of course, from a “tiny country”) — to earn the attention of Britain’s unrivaled virtuoso of headline politics.

He said — and I quote:
“I tell you what, Mr. Rama, did you know one in 50 Albanians in Britain are in prison? So show some goodwill and take them all back tomorrow, because this is hypocrisy.”

Well, Mr. Farage — let me return the challenge with something unusually boring in your line of work: actual numbers.

That “one in 50 Albanians are in prison” claim? It’s not a fact. It’s bonkers. A classic from the post-truth Brexit playbook: “If it sounds scary, it must be true.”

Guess what? When the numbers are actually run — surprise! — even if we assumed every Albanian currently in prison is guilty (and in fact, many are caught up in an outdated and restrictive visa system), the rate of criminality among Albanians in the UK would be no higher than — and likely lower than — that of the British population itself.

Now, since we both seem to cherish “goodwill” and are clearly allergic to “hypocrisy,” here’s my offer:

Let’s both bring our numbers to the table. If your “one in 50” claim holds water — I will personally commit to taking them all back. That’s not a competing headline — it’s a public pledge.

But if your scary stat turns out to be just tabloid fuel, then no apology needed. No drama. Instead, you’ll come to Albania — as my guest of honor.

You’ll get real sun, real hospitality, and even more real facts — about Albania and its fabulous people. And all I ask in return is the simplest public pledge from you, made while enjoying our country: next time someone badmouths Albanians, you’ll be the first to tell them — in your histrionic way — not to do it again.

So what do you say? One fact-check for a full deportation — or a full vacation, with some of the warmest people you’ll ever meet.

Come on, Nigel. If you lose on a fact check, you’ll still win a whole nation of friends for life.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@stephenreed1212 @CCfunkandsoul Even better than Saturday Night by Whigfield?
I think not!

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@MAGAPosts @realDonaldTrump Promise?

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@stephenreed1212 Never managed the single guess yet. Do you still use PANIC as a first guess?
See you in only a few weeks!! 🎉
My streak reset yesterday.
I’m in holiday mode and I forgot!!

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@LBC Your man doesn’t know what he is talking about. In the UK, a moped is legally defined as a low-powered, two-wheeled vehicle with an engine capacity not exceeding 50cc and a maximum design speed of 45 km/h (28 mph). It's assigned to driving license category AM.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@LBC I made both my children ride motorbikes before cars so they’d b more aware as car drivers. I told them 2 facts before we ride motorbikes. 1 Everyone on the road wants to kill you. 2. You, & you alone are responsible for your safety. They are so much more aware now as drivers

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@bendigobank what are you doing with interest rates now there has been a cut?

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@BBCRadio2 19 by Paul Hardcastle

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@LBC @TomSwarbrick1 Seb Gorka is a foul creature.

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@lbc
Here’s the truth.

https://t.co/EnZG8eDEBJ

[Paul Langstaff @plangy]

@LBC Ian you are unable to buy fireworks in Western Australia. There are quite a few organized displays throughout the year. New Year, Australia Day and Chinese New Year are big fireworks events here.