daniel plen

[Jason Green @Jaysgreen]

Todays fun fact: eThekwini means "the one-testicled one." No jokes. #googlethatshit

[Will Ferrell @Will_FerreII]

When I?m bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: ?You should really clean under your bed, it?s filthy down here. PS: I love you."

[daniel plen @plenjamming]

@JRsBBQ @BleacherRepor wh yxlmk lmh🏫

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Why should you believe The Bible?
Because it says so in The Bible.
Now please don't ask again.

[elon mustard @nice_mustard]

well i NAILED the biggie verse from "notorious thugs" so how do you THINK the job interview went, mom

[MJ @MikeeeJohnston]

You know your maid does nothing all day when she starts redecorating the house

[Eli Braden @EliBraden]

Out of chips and salsa? Egg shells and ketchup make a great last-minute gameday snack substitute! #NFL #CollegeFootball

[Danny ◙sztonits @DanOsztonits]

If SAPS got as much pleasure capturing criminals as they do catching kids with a gram of weed,children would probably stil build tree houses

[Sarcasm! @DamnHiIarious]

Fun prank: replace sugar packets at restaurants with cocaine

[daniel plen @plenjamming]

@EliBraden lemonAIDS

[Danny ◙sztonits @DanOsztonits]

Whoever found my cap that I left in the taxi last night. WEAR THAT THING WITH FUCKING PRIDE!

[Mike Pellers @MikePellers031]

It's all about the Benjamin's

[Will Ferrell @Will_FerreII]

my favorite study method is crying

[Will Ferrell @Will_FerreII]

How did Dexter's parents NOT know about his secret Lab? That electric bill had to be higher than Wiz Khalifa!

[Mamas Uncut @MamasUncutQA]

A restaurant in Tokyo lets you have sex with a live animal, then it's killed, cooked, and served to you and your guest.