zach and zach and zach and zach

my head is too far from my feet

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

telling the genie you want an exoskeleton like a bug

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

uncorking a real vintage for the 250th

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

@chorio_actis I encourage anyone to try espresso + fresca, maybe throw in an orange slice if you got it

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

“babbling brook” is one of the top phrases

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

masterclass

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven.

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

Spam bot follows are kind of a gacha game now, you can get the common pornbot but I was just followed by the elusive gore-bot

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

Tbf I think it only makes sense for a religion to claim “we could’ve fixed him”

[HolisticNicole @HolisticNicole]

Fun Fact: I grew up Mormon & left. According to LDS theology, Hitler will go to the Telestial Kingdom, because he “never knew the truth” of the church. *I*, however, will spend eternity in Outer Darkness (Mormon version of Hell) because I am an apostate. I am worse than Hitler.

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

@NotJosephGarcia can you tattoo spongebob on my heart

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

@Nerdcognito Imagine your DM gives you a puzzle to solve in a dungeon, then when you come up with the correct solution he demands you roll an intelligence check anyway

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

Ask any ER doc what hours on Friday and Saturday nights they end up with the most car crash patients

[Lost Nomad @lost_nomad__]

Bars are currently being prevented from being open past 2:00am in most states and we should be throwing a fit about it

“Land of the free” (until 2am)

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

Watching kids in spelling bee championships like yup knew that one

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

In my utopian vision of the world every evening at 7pm The Digital Lifeguard appears on every screen and blows a shrill whistle, signaling it is adults only swim time in Cyperspace. If you hear a whistle before 7pm, someone probably pooped and they have to clean it up.

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

Modern urban and suburban society lacks enough outlets for throwing things just as hard as you possibly can, as humans are meant to do well and often.

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

Eric Rahill I have a biopic pitch for you

[Clash Report @clashreport]

IDF announces death of Staff Sergeant Noam Hamburger, 23, killed by Hezbollah.

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

@facetedcarapace to become a surgeon you first have to experience Five Years of Torture and only a select type of person signs up for that

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

My white nephew

[Jenny from the MAGA Block @JennyfromtheGOP]

@AAGDhillon @SwipeWright @CivilRights @TheJusticeDept My white nephew who graduated with honors from OSU has to sit the next year out because med schools don’t want white students.

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

@wormsofbarlo It's what I'm choosing to believe

[zach and zach and zach and zach @plundersundered]

You can tell he talks to the bot a ton because it figured out how much he loves to be praised

[sudo Heraclitus @cyberpyre]

Richard Dawkins has officially been one-shot

[Sarah Burssty @SarahBurssty]

I miss when phones had IR blasters so you could mess with TVs in public