Jaren

I'm Jaren and I post tweets drunk then feel stupid later and delete them!

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

Thank all the good dogs that my new car it's damn near 50 MPG and I can make the trip on twenty bucks lol

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

Nothing like leaving Chicago and heading for Ohio with $50 in your bank account and an empty tank of gas. You decide to wait till you get to Indiana to get gas. During this time apparently your Amazon Prime subscription and also your monthly donation to the ACLU were debited

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@SarahSahli6 @chrisp24601 @realJohnSMiller @realDonaldTrump Gotta love all those minimum wage jobs people are starving with. 69% of Americans have less than $1000 in the bank as of December 2019, up 11% from the previous year with 78% of Americans saying they live paycheck to paycheck and are unable to save money. Amazing economy!

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

Was really hoping the Kobe shit was fake news but it appears to be true. Rip

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@R_Calico 50% of people possess some amount of intuition and 50% of replies to this disagree about which ones, but 99% of them all have ONE thing in common...

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@mdculham @BernieSanders Alec Smith

https://t.co/G8FTtRNAON

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

No one should have to watch a loved one die because they don't have health insurance. I don't understand what is so radical about that.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@MFIC74 @mountainlady19 @WORLDSTAR @realDonaldTrump So he's innocent because his fellow republicans refuse to act on or see the evidence that proves his guilt? Totally how "innocent until proven guilty" is supposed to work. Can wait till I get a speeding ticket and go to court and tell the judge not to look at the radar clock.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@BernieSanders I'd just die on my drive to Canada if I ever needed medical attention. Just seems easier.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@nyc_2018 @March_for_Life @realDonaldTrump Like when he paid for an abortion for his bastard child of an illegal worker at his resort? Or the catholic centric way he cheated on his pregnant wife via paying for sex with a pornstar?

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

You ever end up in a situation where you have to kill one or multiple people in your dreams? I was involved in a bus crash and killed a Nazi with a wallet chain. That's what I get for watching "The Man in the High Castle" on the plane off the dude next to me's laptop yesterday.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

Lmao can't make my life up

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

So guess what happened? THE FUCKING ROOMBA ATE IT AND TOOK IT HOME. I fucking died. Explains how my liquor moved too. And to complete the story, I literally found it at 1% battery. I would have never found it across the room blending in with the dock.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

So I passed out on the couch the other night with my phone. Can't find it in the morning. No worries, the couch eats stuff. 40 minutes later the couch is literally disassembled. What in the fuck. Starting to get paranoid cause my bottle of rye wasn't where I left it either.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

It was almost certainly dead anyhow. To my surprise I can see my phone on Google maps, on my street. Okay, relief. I hit the "ring phone" button and I hear it. IT'S COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE. Sprint downstairs and zero in on it.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

@amy_spanos Essentially how I'm still alive. Too expensive to od lol

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

Imagine being so *innocent* you:
- Block all the witnesses
- Block all the documents
- Refuse to testify
- Try to get the trial dismissed
- LIE about knowing a guy you're in DOZENS of pictures with
- Force GOP Senators to hold a #coverup trial

Just imagine.

[Nate Lerner @NathanLerner]

Virginia's "extreme" new gun laws that all those armed extremists are protesting?

-Background checks.
-Limit on # of handgun purchases per month.
-Communities can ban guns from specific events/venues.
-Police can take guns from those deemed a risk to others.

That's it.

[Jaren @Pocketzest]

"Eminem's new album is offensive and inconsiderate"

How the fuck is that EVER news?