tee

[tee @poetheaven]

https://t.co/TkvvMFaCLA

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/3M84R6GHcT Burping up Taco Bell is like returning to the scene of the crime

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/jWkHAu6gWS Bats are just rats who had too much Red Bull.

[tee @poetheaven]

People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous. http://t.co/1OMxgFk5dY

[tee @poetheaven]

I wish I were as comfortable with my body as every guy from Jackass is with theirs. http://t.co/mjDvFv3tyb

[tee @poetheaven]

An emo vampire probably bites himself. http://t.co/eC36u4y8VE

[tee @poetheaven]

Seems like most rioting in the world happens in the countries with the least bacon. http://t.co/DbR64tA0Ku

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/986wRN5Idd Hump day without humping is significantly less fun.

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/lo3MflcIOb When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/IywlQ8ITjV I don't mean to make your Monday morning worse, but we'll never be able to wear shorts in space.

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/sqXFdzPSlb Middle age is mostly getting super excited about different flavors of hummus.

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/8pThfHxcW4 All my hostile pals are in hospitals.

[tee @poetheaven]

7 out of 10 people believe in Life after death. The other 3 don't even like cereal. http://t.co/SlHZMyZ1t8

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/1s0sLeYXGu JUST ONE MORE STD TILL I'M OFFICIALLY A JERSEY SHORE MEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/vyo3uLS750 "Oh is it by the Starbucks?" Um... everything's by a Starbucks

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/xeqWnAM1eC Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models.

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/5vUUlQKz02 Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt?

[tee @poetheaven]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/viT9a8tzWN

[tee @poetheaven]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/2uonMPtIUQ

[tee @poetheaven]

http://t.co/6f6abKFX I'm thinking of something really stupid to tweet -all of us all the time