homogenius

the fewer the merrier, I say!

[homogenius @pogasus]

Baby formula doesn’t create babies, it just feeds babies that already exist

[homogenius @pogasus]

the real underground comedians are the ones commenting “I don’t know, sorry!” on questions posted in random Facebook groups

[homogenius @pogasus]

it’s like taking an open cup of water on the subway

[homogenius @pogasus]

just saw someone with a bucket of movie popcorn on the subway. Like with her kids coming from the movies with a 3/4 full giant popcorn bucket. it’s like teetering on the edge for me of a normal thing to do.

[homogenius @pogasus]

if I start killing birds will you finally let me stay indoors forever???

[homogenius @pogasus]

I am the reason they added the transcript feature and you are very welcome

[homogenius @pogasus]

the thing about getting a voice note from me is DONT YOU DARE LISTEN TO IT ON SPEAKER

[Evan 🏳️‍🌈🍂 @EvanPerc_]

the wizard: I’m a fraud and you’re an enemy of the state now

elphaba:

[homogenius @pogasus]

shrek would not have been able to use a smartphone (fingers too big)

[homogenius @pogasus]

I keep a secret like the lead actor in a musical coming on for the finale in a trenchcoat

[homogenius @pogasus]

busy day in the office for my queer-friendly therapist

[homogenius @pogasus]

my toilet was not prepared for the effect this election would have on my tummy

[homogenius @pogasus]

America's Next Top Model but for election forecasting

[homogenius @pogasus]

who let Brett Favre pronounce his name like that

[homogenius @pogasus]

To live for just one day the life of a person who comments “Happy Birthday!” on a Kamala Harris ad

[homogenius @pogasus]

mice do not share cats’ love of killing mice unfortunately

[homogenius @pogasus]

you’d think cats and mice could bond over their shared love of dairy but it seems they are enemies

[homogenius @pogasus]

if only there were an Olympic event for telling the difference between the old damaged wood of my apartment floors from the bits of hard, dry cat vomit that I’ve been too lazy to clean up

[homogenius @pogasus]

I’m such a freaking germaphobe I wash my hands practically every time I use the bathroom

[homogenius @pogasus]

@marcel_toing @Eye_Noah_Guy just say some sexy cousins liked the reply no need to pretend

[homogenius @pogasus]

leaning over the bus driver at the stop “sorry no it’s actually the next block, right side of the street is fine”