Frank Drebin

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

This Ayatollah character never bores from my Enrico Pallazzo routine. Fortunately he's giving me a break so he can watch "Making HIS Band"

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

It's scum like this that makes me want to drop down on my knees and thank God I'm an American. Lt. Frank Drebin- reporting from #Iran-out!

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Found that Nordberg is here. Being used as Ayatollah's man-servant. Making him do horrible things... like play Parcheesi with @M_Ahmadinejad

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Snuck into the Ayatollah's palae. Disguised as Enrico Pallazzo. Pretending to be Ayatollah's musical guest of the evening. (cont'd)

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Whew! Survived that scare. Better get out of these streets and find Nordberg before #Ahmadinejad does. Nordberg, where are you???

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

(cont'd)"Oh, this is a HAMAS meeting? I'm sorry, I thought the sign outside said 'HOMOS.' Praise Allah! Catch y'all on the flipside!" #Iran

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Just yelled "Praise Allah, down with Infidels!" OK, things are better. Now they just think that I am a gay arab. Now what do I say????

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

...They are all staring at me because of my blue, red, yellow and white striped turbon with seashell pictures on it. Better think fast...

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Not smart move to impersonate Donahue. They are arresting journalists. Had to tie beach towel around my head, snuck into a Hamas meeting....

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Just realized @M_Ahmadinejad is a tweeter too. Will follow him, maybe he will lead me to Nordberg. I better go incognito...as Phil Donahue.

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Just landed in @Iran . The smell of tyrany is in the air, and the stench is thick, yet moist. Kind of makes me crave some curry & pigs feet.

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Ransom note from Ludwig. Nordberg has been kidnapped, taken to Iran. Have to catch next flight there. Gotta go- just tweeted in my pants!

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

The questions kept coming up like bubbles in the bathtub of a old man with IBS. Where was Nordberg? Whys he gone? And where the hell was I?

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Still on the hunt for Nordberg. Hopes are up. Won't rest till I find him. Oh, wow! New Spongebob episode on! OK, won't rest till after

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Got Vincent Ludwig and Quentin Hapsburg cornered. This time they won't get away, so long as I don't get foiled by Pap-Shmear again!

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

(cont'd) Knocking on the door of every whore in Venezuela until we find him! Hold strong Nordberg... we will find you. Lt. Drebin OUT!

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Things got strange this morning when Nordberg turned up missing. Last I heard he was going hiking up the Appalachian Trail. (cont'd)

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Nordberg and I are on a very serious mission. Surely, you say, it can't be serious? Well, it is serious! And don't call me SHIRLEY!!!

[Frank Drebin @PoliceSquad]

Like a midget at a urinal, I knew I was going to have to be on my toes!