the worst thing about being chronically suicidal is that you don't plan for the future because you are just planning to be dead. and then it's the future and you are not dead and you've just totally fucked up your life for no reason
i hate being passively suicidal because my suicidal thoughts have gotten so much fucking worse but i still don’t have any intention of killing myself at the moment so it feels too selfish to just tell someone i keep thinking about killing myself