doug dimmadildo (36DDs)

TurboDumbass~ last preferred pronoun standing

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

More like Planet Fitness dick in ur ass

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Nobody has told me happy pride yet and as a proud Subaru owner, I’m kinda miffed!

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Tubi or not tubi

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Made shakshuka and it was curative for my soul

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

One time I was wearing a short dress with no panties and a bee stung me in a….sensitive spot. So now I always wear underwear 🙃

[Raw @R4wf0ru]

my biggest fear is sitting on grass in shorts and a bug crawls in my pussy

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Question about sex: how do you decide who gets fucked in the ass first each time?? Rock paper scissors or like a coin toss maybe??

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

I don’t want to be perceived in my day off

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

I bought a shitty little electric toothbrush and the vibration on it is stronger than my vibrator??? I don’t need an earthquake to clean my teeth my god

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

If you’re one of the people that hacked Canvas while I was trying to do my final exam…..can you slide me an A in physics?? Much appreciated

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

I hate having a crush because it’s like oh, you didn’t text me back within the timeframe my ego decided you should have? I’ll just go die then nbd

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

The devil is hungry it seems

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Did a 5k this morning and some jackass that had their phone blasting slow country music decided I would be the victim they pace near the whole time 🫠

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

It sucks when your friends have ugly babies because what am I supposed to say? “Omg they’re so cute!!” Like no, it looks like a gecko that got left in the bath too long. Put it away!

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Liability shmiability I miss when we let dating show contestants drink as much as they want

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

You ever see someones bumper stickers and think you know *exactly* what the driver looks like? That happened to me today except I was correct.

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Plum wine is one of man’s greatest creations oh my goddddddd

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Just spilled lemonade on my lap…now I have to pretend I peed my pants smh so embarassing

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Eating sushi and drinking a pink beverage from a martini glass is so healing to me

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Crouching so I look like a gargoyle

[Cove ɞ˚‧｡⋆ @puppy_dawg_paws]

bouncing on it kneeling or bouncing on it crouching.,,, which one is better?????

[doug dimmadildo (36DDs) @poonbot69]

Ate a roll of lifesavers breath mints for dinner today