John Stewart

Proud Dad first, fishing mad second. Cricket, F1, KLTFC and MUFC in the mix

[granddesigns @granddesigns]

Bryony and Matt are spending £820,000 on a modern, high-performance home on the Cornish coast - designed to meet the highest environmental standards.

Will they pull it off?

📺 NEW Grand Designs | Tonight, 9pm | Channel 4

[Paul Bronks @SlenderSherbet]

When they call your name in a work meeting and you weren't listening.

[Charly Wargnier ♨️ @DataChaz]

Best use of AI I've seen this year

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

RIP Dolly.

[John Stewart @poontangjohn]

@United_Webby Rest in peace pal 👹

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

“YOU BEEN IGNORING MY TEXTS WHILE BEING ACTIVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA MUDDA FUCKA?!”

[Nina Deer @longdepzai_n]

Unbelievable Coincidences

[John Stewart @poontangjohn]

@IamtheLaw_rie @fesshole

[Alternative MUFC. @AlternativeMUFC]

It'll be lovely to not have to listen to anyone and everyone who has no interest or knowledge of football talking absolute performative nonsense for the next two years.

Six weeks until the proper football starts. And I can't bloody wait.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Glastonbury 2007, midnight. Got back to my tent & needed to shit, so I dropped my load in a carrier bag. Like an Olympic hammer thrower, I swung it round my head and flung it into the darkness. I heard it land; someone shouted 'oi!' followed by 'err, you dirty bastard'. Soz.

[. @ChelskiGer_V2]

Morning

[D Fens Ghost @D_Fens_Ghost]

You dirty bastard.

[Epic Vault @TheEpicVault]

Insanely talented footballer copying a goal in slow motion. Standing ovation https://t.co/XBCRQfnvM5

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Parklife.

[Martien 🇳🇱 @MartienBall]

Dear Gabriel,

You can’t imagine how much joy and happiness you’ve brought to millions of people around the world.

On behalf of Football Twitter, thank you for this legendary moment. We will never forget it ❤️

[Khan Noonien Singh @wtfcetialpha5]

You only think about yourselves.

[Out Of Context Erling Haaland @ErlingNoContext]

Erling Haaland you legend 🤣

[Kristel 🇨🇦 @kristelxo]

Being 43 is wild. People your age are living completely different lives.

Some are grandparents. Some are raising toddlers. Some are newly divorced. Some are newly engaged. Some haven’t slept in three years. Some are in St. Tropez posting Aperol spritzes from a yacht.

Some look 25.
Some look like they personally remember the invention of Tupperware.

Nobody got the same assignment.

[Scott Saunders @__scottsaunders]

First day of the season. Just as a reminder.