PoopWagon

Trust me, im a scientist. 10.2M followers

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

*spits mouthful of blood onto floor*
You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Feeling arbuscular today

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

The sea was red and the sky was grey

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Womingitis

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

You can’t spell toilet without toil

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Teeth is skin

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Nothing more American than a thick bloody cut of ribeye steak from brazil

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Mike’s Fard Lemonade

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

I’m gonna say this one last time. Trees are not real. The sooner you get that through your soft jawless skull, the sooner we can get back to living in a free world

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Feeling diatomaceuous today

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Sub Cutaneous Onderwater Breathing Yapparatus

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

In theory really fw the idea of wearing woodland debris but unfortunately it’s associated with people who are a little too excited for the supply chain collapse

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Some may call this junk. Me, I call them trasures

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Just thinking about the noises guineapigs make

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

You fool, in an attempt to not fall into any recognizable trope, not affiliate with any identity, while not looking uncool by trying to hard to be quirky, you’ve become: Apathetic, Overly “Self Aware” White Guy who has to be the only AOSAWG in the group

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Going to my friends’ with lawns in 2025 saying “brother, wherefore lie thine field fallow, amidst such a time of great famine”

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

throw away your 20s to live your incontinent years in luxury if you live that long maybe

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

Please refrain from taking a fat steaming tradgedy on my commons

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

What are the chances @elonmusk has his own A Christmas Carol experience tonight and it changes the fate of humanity

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

An American hero should not be prosecuted

[PoopWagon @poopwagon_]

What would Steve Irwin do