The strangled pigeon

I am the pigeon that was strangled by an Azerbaijani eco-activist in the Lachin corridor. Hate environmentalists and fur coats.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

I am told my buddy @adnanhuseyn was heading to the village yesterday but could not enter it because of police roadblocks.

[Cavid #FreeUlviyya @cavidaga]

Another day of protests. Village is practically blockaded. Police have put roadblocks on the entrance to Söyüdlü village. No journalists are allowed in.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Good job, agent Hikmet!

[Cavid #FreeUlviyya @cavidaga]

NGO heads today protested in front of the Presidential Administration and demanded to see Hikmet Hajiyev. They claim that the government doesn't give them grants anymore. One of the protestors is the lady who killed pigeon in Shusha.
https://t.co/dLNwiKdNOX

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Credible sources in Baku inform that in the latest draft of the peace treaty the Azerbaijani side demands to change @Tigartsakh's twitter handle to @Tigkarabakheconomicregion. I am told this is one of the issues where progress is feasible.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Ambassador Narinen, I appreciate your willingness to celebrate with us the legacy of our national leader. A legacy of democracy, respect for human rights, and anti-imperialism (he was famously fighting the empire from within - at KGB.) Keep spreading these values in our region!

[Finland in South Caucasus @FinlandinSC]

Celebrating #Azerbaijan former president Heydar Aliyev centennial last week; with high level seminar ⁦@ADAUniversity⁩ 🇦🇿 #Baku and with great concert 🇫🇮 #Helsinki. Thank you ⁦@fismailzade⁩, @UlvijaJ⁩ and ⁦@z_ahmadov⁩ for inviting!

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Wouldn't have happened if I was invited as a guest contributor. Could have written a brilliant chapter on the statues of Heydar Aliyev. I know them very well.

[Cavid #FreeUlviyya @cavidaga]

Haha, Routledge publishing refused to publish the book written mainly by Western authors on the 100th anniversary of Heydar Aliyev and returned the manuscript. The editor of the publishing house believed that the book was written in a style that contained excessive praise.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

I am a comics loving pigeon.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

As a Western Azerbaijani-Caucasian Albanian pigeon I second this request. All the Western Azerbaijani pigeons must also have an opportunity to return to the Republic of Hayastan.
The fact that I now reside in Upper Azerbaijan (Heaven) can't deprive me of my unalienable rights.

[Western Azerbaijan Community @QAicmasi]

We sent a letter to UN Secretary General @antonioguterres requesting him to send @UN interagency mission to Armenia to start preparations for the safe and dignified return of Azerbaijanis expelled from this country.

#RightToReturn

More info: ⬇️

https://t.co/mTfHKv4IBM

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

To raise my profile I am going to use more sophisticated language on this platform. From now on you won't be hearing from me about pooping on somebody's head. It will be called weaponization of defecation within the ''geopoliticized diarrhea'' strategy of the Strangled Pigeon.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Few people know that I am a toxic pigeon. I am so toxic that my excrements were identified as a weapon of mass destruction by the IAEA. I am so toxic that even Farid Shafiev blocked me. I am so toxic that Fariz Ismailzade doesn't want to interact with me. Beware of me.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Mr. Shafiyev and I were at Harvard in the same period of time. I received an MA degree in Survival Under Extreme Circumstances, he was studying International relations. I think both Farid and I can attest that the American education system has failed us.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

I demand from Baku to extend this invitation to me. I am ready to discuss payments of reparations for my illegal strangling and infrastructure projects. Reparations might partly be paid by giving me a licence from president Aliyev to poop on Tural Ganjaliyev's head every Friday.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Agent provocateurs of Republic of Hayastan are once again slandering the just struggle of the environmentalist community of Azerbaijan. As a true eco-activist the guy is just promoting organic nutrition. Calm down.

[Simon Maghakyan @simonforco]

An Aliyev regime affiliate blockading Nagorno-Karabakh says “we will slaughter an Armenian & add his blood to kebob” for Nowruz holiday. He thinks he is funny. He is def. more honest about the blockade’s end goal than the fake student environmentalists.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

I officially notify the international community that I am not just a Caucasian Albanian pigeon, I am a Caucasian Albanian Western Azerbaijani pigeon. And I demand reparations, Republic of Hayastan.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Tom and I are followers of the "both sides criticize me therefore I am unbiased and relevant" school of thought.

[Thomas de Waal @Tom_deWaal]

The piece was criticized by parts of Azerbaijani and Armenian Twitter (predictably!), judge for yourself!

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

As an ex-citizen of Azerbaijan (I am dead now, my passport is no longer valid) I welcome the adoption of the foreign agent law in Georgia. It's a path towards real sovereignty and independence. A couple of Bidzina statues and museums would also increase the country's resilience.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Not from the other side. From above.

[Sossi Tatikyan @STatikyan]

I also thought about the @poorpigeon the other day. I hope he is still monitoring “eco-protests” from the other side.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Although I am a Caucasian Albanian pigeon I was also included in this group chat as a leading regional expert. Adnan was indeed indentified as a primary target because of his outstanding communication skills. Btw, Ruben Vardanyan, Nancy Pelosi, and Emmanuel Macron are the admins.

[Adnan Huseyn @adnanhuseyn]

Ok, I think I got it now.

As soon as you reply to one of #Armenian trolls harassing you online, they notify others in their group chats.

“Hey guys, we have a replier! Let’s attack and harass him until he looses it, attacks us and then we’ll screenshot and use it against him!”

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

My sources in the US inform that the producers of "House of Cards" have made a u-turn and have decided to film a new season of the show based on the recent developments in Nagorno-Karabakh's political life. I hope to get at least a cameo.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Yesterday I was eating the leftovers of salads from the New Year party when I suddenly heard suspicous noices. I got terrified as I thought the lady came after me to the Heaven. But I was relieved when I learned it was just @KonulikShahin who came to take pictures of my salads.

[The strangled pigeon @poorpigeon]

Not all of them.

[Ali Alizada 🇦🇿 @Ali_F_Alizada]

The pigeons also enjoy the New Year holiday in #Azerbaijan 🇦🇿

📸M.Orkhan