Jack Flapson

a hot mess that burned out in the end

[Jack Flapson @PopPunkPlug]

No, I don't think you understand. Once you follow me, we're in a follower marriage, and there's no divorce here.

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Day 3 of no caffeine and I’ve lost hearing in my right eye

[Blake Griffin @blakegriffin23]

Accidentally hit a squirrel yesterday in my car. Feel so guilty I could barely sleep. Casey Anthony is a monster.

[NYC DOT @NYC_DOT]

don’t make us take this down, bro

[julia @juumelo_]

your honor who gives a fuck lowkey

[erika @yeeeerika]

let's join the cicadas this summer and scream

[Josh Hart @joshhart]

You couldn’t teach the type of Hate Watch I’m on today

[mayerr @ymmayerr]

LINKEDIN DID LAYOFFS?!

We cant even keep jobs at the job STORE?!?!

What is going ON

[Shō @lucxzxe]

"fuck it we ball" I say as I almost vomit from anxiety

[୨ৎ @feralballads]

don’t use ai to write. use childhood trauma like a real poet.

[Ty Lawson @TyLawson3]

4 things I’d rather do than be a thunder fan:

1. Play hide and go seek w/ Jeffery Dahmer in an abandoned Chucky Cheese

2. Be a Temu parachute tester

3 Stick my D&@k In a blender

4.Lick a port-o-potty toilet seat at Coachella

Yall are some Losers

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Become ungovernable

[The Angel 🖤 @Angel_150913]

In Alberta news, some crazy fucker breaks a world record driving off our local waterfall. Shout out to Dusty Friesen and his boat named Dent.

[taoki @justalexoki]

can't believe i spent my whole life becoming Good At Computer only for Computer to become Better At Computer

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

“I’ll be 10 min late sorry!!!”

-ashamed
-fragile
-unreliable

“A thousand apologies. The relentless slog of time has overtaken my faculties.”

-powerful
-commanding
-honest

[Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer]

I will never have a friendship like the one I have with my brother.

[JP 🍍 @JPLFR80]

I wonder how many times I have died on fuck, marry, kill

[Travis Barker @travisbarker]

I just met a dog named Travis Barker

[alex turntine @turntineforwhat]

gateway drug. before you know it you'll be smoking pipe dreams and shooting up shoulda woulda coulda

[𝓐 ⭑ @ayojoestar]

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

[amir @blumenfeld]

imagine this dude skipping stones?
are you fucking kidding me?