drywall eater

[doomer @uncledoomer]

going up to the counter at the gas station with two monsters, a bag of pork rinds, and a sleeve of zyn and dropping the salam alaikum on the clearly indian cashier

[drywall eater @post911genius]

Welcome to THE DUDE hair salon. In the lobby we have minigolf, sports illustrated, and beers. In the back we have a loaded shotgun you can kill your self with

[drywall eater @post911genius]

Imagine it's the 70s and you pay 2.00 for a car. Then you get murdered by a guy and they never find out who.

[drywall eater @post911genius]

cycling but too self-concious to do the hand motions indicating im turning and getting absolutely demolished by a box truck

[Paul Hundred, GED @paul_hundred]

No one has been more vindicated by history than the 30-50 feral hogs guy

[dizzy @rundizzy]

i hit my head really hard and now im fun to be around

[drywall eater @post911genius]

I’m the king of guy who watches foreign films and doesn’t even think they’re good

[drywall eater @post911genius]

if you're single for 5 years or more you unlock the capability to get into live reenactments of pagan sacrifices

[drywall eater @post911genius]

@mangolighter 4.5???

[my life is a living hell. every minute is torture @on_da_spectrum]

the government should trust us with beverages that have caffeine and alcohol again. I think we would be responsible with them this time

[drywall eater @post911genius]

saw a girl on bumble that i matched with three years ago

[drywall eater @post911genius]

Been flicking a weighted coin onto shop counters for weeks and have yet to receive a single product in return but have been getting my ass kicked by a couple ruffians down the block on the regular

[drywall eater @post911genius]

Rear ending anyone with a Dr. Who bumper sticker. Tf are they gonna do about it

[drywall eater @post911genius]

In the name of the father, the gay son and the holy spirit

[drywall eater @post911genius]

They didnt even offer me a damn beer at this public execution

[drywall eater @post911genius]

Yeah I’m sorry cant talk. Busy feeding my dog 50 slices of velveeta to see what happens