Mark Bryson

Heavy metal dirtbag with a heart of gold. Part-time host of the @PastaMoviePod.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Yeah, I make slow-drip coffee. And by slow-drip I mean I fill my mug too much and I spill it slightly with every step I take.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Pizza proclamation: Ordering extra cheese is always better in theory than practice.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

The bright side of spilling an entire bag of coffee on the ground is now your apartment smells like fresh coffee. Happy Monday!

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

When you're going out for Valentine's Day, please refrain from patronizing your local dive bars. Those are for us single goblins.

[Definitely Not Al Gore 🇺🇲🇺🇦🇵🇸 @AlDefinitely]

I'm a man and I love Sabrina Carpenter and don't like Sydney Sweeney

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Me and who?

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

It's not Christmas until your Mom has a heart-to-heart with a ceramic figurine of Baby Jesus.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Happy birthday, Jesus! #motorhead #LemmyKimister

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Happy Subaru Seatwarmer Season to those who celebrate.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Me, mid work-induced crashout remembering I have all this upcoming holiday PTO.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Update: Metallica still does it for me.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

I ran into someone I matched with on the dating apps this week at a bar tonight and I don't know if she realized it.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

You merely adopted the Guinness. I was born in it, molded by it.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

I broke an entire bottle of garlic powder, dropping it on the floor in my new kitchen. That's a good omen, right?

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

I need to look at dinosaur bones to align my spirit and understand my place in the world.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

The new commute kinda sucks but on the brighter side, it'll give me a chance to catch up on some podcasts.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Wait, what rapture?

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

Listening to Slayer in the shower is self care.

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

I like Castle Rat for the riffs.
The riffs:

[Mark Bryson @PostmodernPoser]

We are living in a Dead Kennedys song.
https://t.co/jDq4H23u8V