Potatumtots

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Here is my reaction to finding a huge rat in a drawer at work. Enjoy.

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

My elderly Russian neighbor just ended a convo with, “bye…enjoy what you can” as she walked away. Idk if it’s cultural or existential dread, but I love it!!! My new motto.

ENJOY WHAT YOU CAN!

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

*Grace approaching me with a concerned face*

Grace: “oh my gosh! do you have a rash?!”

Me: *discovers it was actually just roast beef stuck on my neck*

[angeline rodriguez @gelrdrgz]

when the cat won’t cuddle with me

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

I am CACKLING at the thought of drama kids stranded in the forest. Where is this TV show?

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

@graciemarkes What can I say? I’m a natural born caregiver!

[r @rq1qi]

going through my 5th grade diary

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Should I be concerned that Sleeping With the Enemy is my go to comfort film?

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Asked Grace why she didn’t put her presents under the tree. Her response “…but where will the cats sleep?”

Cat lady priorities

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

“Where have you been young lady?”

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Was going to make a joke about a tornado in November but this alert is better

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

@graciemarkes Drugs during childbirth?! Isn’t the whole point feeling god punish you?

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

“I love it when you laugh at my jokes and not just when I’m quoting your jokes” -@graciemarkes

welp... no one is funnier to me than me!

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Best Halloween movie quote:

“They had fangs. They were biting people. They had this look in their eyes. Totally cold. Animal. I think they were young Republicans.” - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

@daddytoyou6 Very upsetting that there is not a photo to circulate of high school Alex getting arrested

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

I don’t understand how people go off on customer service workers. Yesterday I spent 4 hours in a chair getting a horrible hair cut. Then I told her I loved it. Then I tipped her 20%. Then cried in my car like a normal person.

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

@graciemarkes Look it up sweaty

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Um how do I become best friends with whoever lives in this house?

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Ugh not (A) rumor has it. I was laughing too hard to construct a tweet without typos.

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

My boss currently has himself shut in his office BLASTING Dolly Parton White Christmas followed immediately by Whiskey Lullaby. It is 7:00 AM. Do I check on him or????

[Potatumtots @potatumtots]

Currently: a Rumor Has it - Glee cast