VG

[johnny anderson @johnandpol]

Turn up at NHS clinic to ask for a doctor’s appointment. Grumpy and bossy receptionist tells me I can’t ask in person only by phone. So I stand in front of reception desk and call. She picks up the phone and proceeds to give me an appointment….

[Sam @sam_a_r]

the way this scene from Tots TV is an absolute masterclass in passive aggression… no hollywood production has ever come close

[Heather Hogan @theheatherhogan]

The tech who did my breast ultrasound put gel on the wand and said "Here comes some warm jelly!" and started whoosh-whooshing it toward my boobs like an airplane. Then she stopped dead, mid-whoosh, blinked, and said "I'm sorry, I have twin toddlers, I am... fucking exhausted."

[D.D @DDonWhytee]

When you've been single for too long.😂😂😂😂😂😂

[VG @powergranger92]

@thetoad101 One of life’s biggest stressors for me can be when someone double question marks ?? Why are you interrogating me.

[Tong Bingxue 仝冰雪 @tongbingxue]

Heartwarming moment during Chinese New Year celebration:
The little girl covers her pet's ears to avoid the scare of fireworks.

[Justin Myers @theguyliner]

I'm always so impressed by people who have actual hobbies: pottery, swimming, crafting, etc. My only hobby is 'not being at work'

[Katherine Ryan @Kathbum]

Of course the liars lied. They’re liars. Don’t investigate, just get rid. Why do I feel like this country is dating Tristan Thompson?

[Matt Green @mattgreencomedy]

Boris Johnson seems to have gone to more parties during lockdown than I do in a normal year

[Am I the Asshole? @AITA_online]

AITA for demanding my husband to replace all the books he threw away? https://t.co/EjDlzjkZ9A

[Siyandawrites @SiyandaWrites]

One of western modernity’s greatest cruelties is the fact that couples are expected to raise newborns alone. I’ll never understand it and it really is an impossible thing

[VG @powergranger92]

@thetoad101 @MadScientistFF Part II

[Ewan Smith 🍉 @eee_smith]

Just offered to make tea for my entire family and they said yes

[Frankie Boyle Updates @frankieboyle]

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Christmas and stored up enough happy memories to see you through three months of lockdown and a war with Russia

[Tim Ricketts @timricketts_]

There’s something a bit baffling about a patient in hospital with covid who is unvaccinated because “I don’t believe in modern medicine”, but wants to be for full escalation and ITU. Do they think ITU treatment is based on the four humours and healing crystals?

[b.b @benoobrown]

Saying “it’s Christmas” and proceeding to eat and drink everything in sight

[Harriet Marsden is harriet1marsden on Threads @harriet1marsden]

How many effing parties were happening in Westminster last Christmas it sounds like Freshers Week in there

[Neil @afootballnomad]

@PoliticsForAlI @thetimes The worst thing about a 2 week circuit breaker is the 10th week