Rip van Dartz

All my tweets can be read as prophecy (he/him)

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

All my homies bust huge nuts

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

@alshipley The double entendre says so much

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

Watching world cup offside reviews feels like watching the humiliation video after getting a split bowling

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

I would sympathize more with Captain Ahab if the whale was called "Moby Thick" and it jiggled when he breached

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

@redrummarts What if he was named Lou Breed and he had a most fertile womb

[j. mamana @jrmamana]

when my grandfather, a sicilian immigrant and high school principal, died aged 96, we found among his belongings a number of notebooks, one of which consisted entirely of one-liners whose setup was, “as sigmund fraud says…”

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

@simonsbookclub @FischerRandom1 @JoyceCarolOates What's the other way? It seemed very clear to me?

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

@GrimisS @EdmontonOilers @TSN_Sports Concerning pattern

[Zach Grimes @GrimisS]

@EdmontonOilers @TSN_Sports Ken HitchCOCK
Dave TIPpet
Jay WOODcroft
Kris KNOBlauch
Mike BabCOCK

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

Let the boys know that Surfshark VPN has worked very well for me

[Edmonton Oilers @EdmontonOilers]

The #Oilers have named Mike Babcock as Head Coach. https://t.co/WSNNP3Yrni

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

You can like and agree with woody Allen’s decisions in his private life without enjoying his movies it’s called seperating the art from the artist

[Ry Passle @RyPassle]

#PourCoffeeOnYourWorkKeyboardChallenge

[Wopavelli @TheWopObama]

Taking a shit on the clock at work for so long that I come out and my boss is 20 years older like interstellar and I start crying

[Jalen Brunson @jalenbrunson1]

Spongebob has memes for every single aspect in life

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

@stoolpresidente They should be ashamed Dave

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

@buffetbreaker 1000 ocean seals would have gone hard

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

Finally a serious answer to this

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

If the knicks win we’re carrying the t-rex skeleton from the museum of natural history to the front of MSG

[Rip van Dartz @prawnsgonewild]

8.50 highlife tastes so good