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Dad jokes are rad jokes!

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@MichaelSpring17 The guy has a lot of welding gear.

[Chad Verwey @ChadVerwey]

What the fuck is going on!?

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https://t.co/25pY4gJYF7

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Save money on batteries by only putting them into your clock when you wish to know the time. #toptip

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They say the body is a temple... What I got is more of a bouncy castle.

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You know you're all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kicking it under the fridge.

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I get carried away sometimes... Usually because I refuse to leave.

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I was walking down the street earlier and saw a guy eating his dinner off the pavement.
"What are you doing buddy?" I asked.
"I'm trying to curb my appetite."

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Tell everyone you work with that you have a twin so that when you see them in public you won't have to talk to them.

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I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.

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My wife thinks I���m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.

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I bet anyone who's had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in.

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Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.

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Tell everyone you work with that you have a twin so that when you see them in public you won't have to talk to them.

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I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.

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@Omnis00854131 @NotHoodlum Hilarious Emails?

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#funwithwords

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https://t.co/r7hUlvcuy7

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I didn't say it was your fault... I said I was blaming you.

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https://t.co/9MI7IbmyjV