prime5

[prime5 @prime5]

Little known fact: The toothbrush originated in Alabama. Everywhere else it was called a teethbrush. http://t.co/DejhN8nMS3

[prime5 @prime5]

I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade http://t.co/5zwf7BwZro

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/Se0aBAN2ip Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines.

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/bujSQKc3xE Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/lAD9hs11hf Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[prime5 @prime5]

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/eKUuHzh14x

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/7bHKWX5s Im not sure whats so 'outstanding' about this bill? It seems pretty ordinary to me.

[prime5 @prime5]

I bet cats are pissed they can’t sit on televisions anymore. http://t.co/sxEhIked

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/TafgElWA UPDATE: This year's most popular Halloween costume will be Slutty Chilean Miner.

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/hPY5qiSj Just watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth.

[prime5 @prime5]

My facebook homepage has become a sea of 'who the fuck is that?' http://t.co/LwMxD3eK

[prime5 @prime5]

Just skipped past a quote from Gandhi on Instagram to "like" a photo of a hot dog. http://t.co/mHHJ0XJn

[prime5 @prime5]

http://t.co/Sp2Qprgw I'm in line behind a lady with 100 coupons so come visit me in jail, OK?