I don't know who needs to hear this, but start living. The days are flying by, and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress.
Enjoy what you can-walks, sunsets, music, laughter, and nature. Joy doesn't have to be expensive. You deserve it.
Somewhere in your 20s or 30s you'll get the opportunity to rebuild your life after a negative loop, heal from what broke you, live in your own space, reconnect with your discipline, and learn to love yourself again. It's very important that you see that journey through.