I was on this bitch all day looking for shit, and not once did this slip or something remotely close to it came up! Twitter be doing the shii on purpose
My dentist’s office has a fish tank in the waiting room with exactly one fish in it. Big tank. One fish. I asked the receptionist about it maybe two years ago and she said there used to be nine, and she said it in a tone that closed the subject completely. So I let it go. But every six months I sit in that room and look at this fish patrolling forty gallons of water by himself and I think, buddy, what did you do. Because either he did something, or he’s just the last one standing, and I genuinely cannot decide which is the better story. Last visit I noticed they’d added a small castle. One fish, one castle. Somebody in that office made a decision that this fish had earned a castle. I’ve thought about that fish more than I’ve thought about my own dental health, partly because I think about being the last one in the tank more than is probably healthy, and partly because it reminded me of 2011, when I got banned from a Golden Corral in Tulsa for reasons the manager still refuses to put in writing.