I was actually one of the nurses on duty that day, and I can confirm every word. In fact, the moment she walked into the labor ward, we immediately realized this wasn’t going to be like every other delivery we’d spent years training for. We threw away the fetal monitor, the partograph, the blood pressure cuff, the IV cannula, the emergency trolley, and every obstetrics textbook because, as it turns out, all those things were completely unnecessary.
She simply walked to the bed, looked at the baby and said, “Come out.” The baby respectfully complied within minutes. No contractions to monitor, no cervical examinations, no assessment of fetal position, no concern about the size of the baby or the mother’s pelvis. Apparently none of that has ever mattered. We have all been wasting our time.
Immediately after the delivery, the hospital called an emergency meeting. Every obstetrician, midwife, anesthetist and pediatrician was informed that decades of medical training had been based on misinformation. We have now concluded that prolonged labor, obstructed labor, postpartum hemorrhage, shoulder dystocia, eclampsia, emergency C-sections and maternal mortality only happen because women failed to renew their gym memberships.
We’ve also contacted medical schools worldwide to remove Obstetrics & Gynecology from their curriculum. Future doctors will no longer learn about parity, cervical dilation, fetal distress, induction of labor, breech presentation, placenta previa, uterine rupture, or any of those outdated concepts. The only lecture remaining is “Stay Fit and Tell the Baby to Come Out.”
We’ve gone a step further and written to the World Health Organization, ACOG, RCOG and every maternity hospital across the globe to stop wasting resources on labor wards. Apparently the solution to childbirth has been sitting in a gym all along.
On behalf of every doctor, nurse, midwife, researcher, and every woman who has ever experienced a difficult or traumatic labor, we sincerely apologize for not realizing sooner that childbirth is actually a fitness competition. Thank you, sir, for correcting centuries of medical science with one tweet. We are forever indebted to you.
I no longer want to share my family matters in the online space anymore but I will say this for the last time.
My girl, was actively cooking and going to the gym until the day she delivered our son.
She didn't spend more than five minutes in the labor room, which was possible because she stayed fit throughout her pregnancy.
She stayed fit for 8 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days. She only missed the gym once, and that was when she put to bed.
I for say make I post video evidence but no need.
SALE // SWAP DEALS 🔥🔥
2024 Honda Accord EX
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2019 Honda Accord Sport
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The best car isn’t always the fastest, most expensive, newest, or the one with the biggest screens.
Sometimes, it’s simply the one that gives you the least headache.
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#YourCarGuy 🚘🕺🏽
2019 Honda Accord Sport
1.5T engine
48k miles
Keyless entry & start
Sunroof
Rear view camera
PRICE — 210k p3 😁
Make me an offer - I need this sold asap
Drop and offer and have it maybe
Hit the dm
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2019 Honda Accord Sport
1.5T engine
48k miles
Keyless entry & start
Sunroof
Rear view camera
PRICE — 210k p3 😁
Make me an offer - I need this sold asap
Drop and offer and have it maybe
Hit the dm
WhatsApp no in bio
#YourCarGuy 🚘🕺🏽
#YourDubaiCarGuy 🇦🇪🇬🇭