pearl

19 ✴︎ stu(dying) & maintaining bmi 18

[pearl @prlexia]

∘　　　𝜗୧　　accountability thread　　𓆪
　　　　converting cravings into steps 🤍

[pearl @prlexia]

i do my best. i reach out. i go to appointments. i take medication. but if nobody can help or understand me, i don't want to do any of it anymore. it's warm enough that the river's melted. i could easily go to the bridge and solve all of this, but will i? am i brave enough?

[pearl @prlexia]

suicide has always felt more like a "when" than an "if" to me. since elementary school, i always thought a day would come where i'd be strong enough to do it, where i wouldn't really care about the pain or the so-called consequences. i feel like i'm approaching that "when" soon.

[pearl @prlexia]

supposedly, i just need to lock in. i know how to do that, i go to the best university in the world. i got here somehow. i did well enough last semester. now, i just can't. what's happening to me? why does nobody see that this isn't my fault?

[pearl @prlexia]

used this photo for a bmi estimate. they said bmi 22-24. i am bmi 18. should i kill myself on INSTAGRAM LIVE or TIKTOK LIVE???

[pearl @prlexia]

SOMEBODY TOOK AN OFF GUARD PICTURE OF ME AT THE BEACH AND SENT IT TO ME... triggering.

[pearl @prlexia]

starving because the dining hall is genuinely serving slop

[pearl @prlexia]

yeah i would fucking hope you look smaller when you're turned to the side and sucking in vs your "friend" posing like a normal person. delete this expeditiously 👎

[pearl @prlexia]

SOMEBODY TOOK AN OFF GUARD PICTURE OF ME AT THE BEACH AND SENT IT TO ME... triggering.

[pearl @prlexia]

@ugdrays i interpreted it as she didn't think her getting pregnant was possible, and assuming she did use protection, her shock would be that much more justified. nobody should've jumped to slutshaming and calling her irresponsible

[pearl @prlexia]

i need all of you to know that any sex, even if you use all the protection in the world, can get you pregnant.

the only 100% effective birth controls are abstinence and (sometimes) homosexuality!

[Იᰍׄ @x2cprincess]

@thisgirl_isdead 17 with an eating disorder over here having unprotected sex.. i cant stand yall bitches

[pearl @prlexia]

that girl did not need to get dragged in the comments at all. shame for everybody involved

[pearl @prlexia]

@lovechocolita RIGHT!! thats insane to me. i thought there would be algorithms in place for this on x (i know they exist!) so what's the issue??

[pearl @prlexia]

i didn't think i'd ever be one of the people to see cp on this app since i've avoided seeing many terrible things online. i was wrong. holy shit. i assumed stuff like that would be terribly shot, no faces, but what i just saw in picture perfect quality is going to haunt me. fuck

[pearl @prlexia]

@ttinakitten teenage boys not knowing how to shower or use deodorant made a great appetite suppressant

[ari 📻 @debbiesarah30]

eat whatever you want bruh you literally have an eating disorder that’s much more unhealthy than eating takeout once in awhile, your body will just be happy it’s having enough for once instead of fucking starvation

[pearl @prlexia]

ghosted my psychiatrist for 2 weeks and just sent the longest mentally ill rant ever. i wonder what she'll prescribe me this time!!