T

[Candace Owens @RealCandaceO]

Our government thinks we are retarded. They legitimately hate us.

[Dildo Gaggins @DildoGaggins89]

"Now make the 4th of July about Israel"

[BakerMuse @MuseBaker]

The New York Jets have threatened to play football soon

[Carter Baizen @rachellacroixs]

This is who I am talking about when I say people feel entitled to live in New York. She’s had like 5 subleases this year and she made a go fund me for her rent because she won’t get a job and just makes clay cats to sell. Not to sound like a boomer but she’s a bum!!!

[J @JoeHallenbeck17]

Tranny Pacquiao

[The Kevin Harlan Effect @KevHarlanEffect]

“I was just talking to Kevin O’Connell.”

[crayons @utismhaver]

they are trying to rewrite history..

[Cade Owt @TerryTwoBags]

Idk who needs to hear this but there is more to New York than some cracker playing ANOTR on a Dumbo roof

[27. @dimvji]

everything used to be 20 dollars and now that i finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

[Murray Hill Guy @MurrayHillGuy1]

Millennials, it's time to choose your midife crisis

1. Date a 23 year old
2. Quit drinking and become insufferable about it
3. Double down on drinking
4. Train for a marathon nobody asked about
5. Have a panic baby (with wife you hate)
6. "We're opening the relationship" (she bangs)
7. Get divorced
8. Get diagnosed with adult ADHD/autism
9. Niche side quests like rock climbing, hyrox, gardening, handstands

[Owen Benjamin 🐻 @OwenBenjamin]

Tim Dillon is a legend. To the point I don’t believe he’s gay. I think it’s a long term bit.

[Hëisënberg @He1senberg6969]

Not my tempo sweetheart

[bawonki @Balarkeuwu]

this is gayer than fucking a dude

[BIG HYCE @thehyce]

do not go broke trying to play husband at a young age.

[General Will🇦🇷🇺🇸 @GamecockWill69]

TSA Agent: “You are hiding ranch in your carry-on aren’t you?”

[kordell @lledrook]

we need more self aware niggas man

[Max @JetsLife4]

My boy got a broom signed by Brunson😭😭😭😭

[KFC @KFCBarstool]

I was about to say, I wonder if LeBron, KD etc all the guys who chose not to come here see this & regret not taking on the challenge. But then I realized those guys dgaf & the group of underdogs & misfits that got it done are the only ones who deserve this

[Brick P 💍 @Brick_Pitino]

I literally dreamt this.

[Cara Lisette @CaraLisette]

I’m going to think about this tweet forever