Kelton

student athlete

[Kelton @probablykelton]

about to take my apush test wish me luck :)

[Kelton @probablykelton]

MAGA is such a beautiful name for a girl 🥰🥰🥰

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

me to my first kid once i have one who doesnt have diabetes

[Schmrgl @Schmrgl]

Mental Illnesses as Paintings:

Diabetes

[Kelton @probablykelton]

@_nuppeppo Idk what a girlsona is but if u play as a boy you get less votes and less clothes options

[Kelton @probablykelton]

I don't um. I don't think I want that

[Kelton @probablykelton]

Can't wait to see him on the big screen

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Keegan-Michael Key reveals ‘SUPER MARIO BROS 2’ will feature Nintendo characters that are “really deep cuts”

“The way the story's laying itself out right now, those characters are going to be very intriguing”

(Source: https://t.co/zGHbpvi8Wr)

[onionweigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher]

He's thinking:
"What if I went two spaces forward... 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦."

[Kelton @probablykelton]

there needs to be a song for guys who have soul but aren't necessarily a soldier per say

[Kelton @probablykelton]

With enough practice anyone can text and drive

[Kelton @probablykelton]

good thing biden dropped out. i was worried i might have to vote for him

[Kelton @probablykelton]

call me a divorced dad the way i'm hoping for joint custody

[Kelton @probablykelton]

people are gonna be scrambling in 3 months trying to think of a good couples costume about this

[Kelton @probablykelton]

great day to be a dude who can kinda do a trump voice

[Kelton @probablykelton]

Biden STUNS in old photo

[Kelton @probablykelton]

i'm sure everyone has seen the email from joe biden. the one saying that white boy summer has been cancelled... how am i gonna break the news to my small circle of close friends...

[Kelton @probablykelton]

(trying to teach a bull how to drive)
me: alright now when you see red you have to stop!

bull: 😡🤬🫤🐂

me: but when you get mad at someone you get to use your horn

bull: 😁🤗🐂

my friend Quiet Joe: (from the backseat):

[Kelton @probablykelton]

*stand up comedian trying crowd work for the first time*
is anyone here from a dumb town i can make fun of

[Kelton @probablykelton]

can't let my kid off his leash at the 4th of july parade. in case he bites someone.

[Kelton @probablykelton]

@_nuppeppo i know that guy on the left thats dad

[Kelton @probablykelton]

@fefeposting cereal from mcdonalds