Andrea Schwartz

I write things for money. Okay, only half of that is true. | As seen in Reductress, Buzzfeed, and making Jane Austen jokes on @Austen1stDrafts she/her

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

“'If Canada does not stop its aggressive posturing, we will have no choice but to invade.' - Grand Empress of the United States, Beyonce Knowles"

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

My mom went into hospice today. It’s been very hard on her and my family, but all of the love and support I’ve gotten from strangers on the internet that became friends because of Jane Austen has helped more than you can know. Thanks to everyone who has sent kind messages ❤️

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

There would be no Austen1stDrafts without Gisela Schwartz. I owe her my sense of humor, my love of literature, and everything else I am. She’s the best mom in the world and I just needed everyone to know how much I love her. Love you forever, mom.

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

My mom introduced me to Jane Austen when I was 11. I watched P&P 95 for the 1st time with her and loved it right away. Whenever Lady Catherine comes on screen she exaggerates a British accent in her German accent, “it’s Lady Catherine de Bouuuuurgh.” It makes me laugh every time.

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me while I help my mom through hospice. This has been the toughest period of my life and the love and support means so much to me. ❤️

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

Absolutely horrifying images coming from the Key Bridge collapse. Just realizing that the loud sustained rumble I heard this morning was probably from the collapse. Hoping that they are able to save lives.

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

Sex, Lies and Sensibility has everything I want in an Austen retelling

✅ A twist on the classic that stands on its own
✅ A modern take on the themes of the original
✅ So. Much. Banter.
✅ Chemistry for days
✅ Comedy that comedies hard

https://t.co/Rl7LJPL9iS

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

Just wanted to say that I predicted this

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

“'If Canada does not stop its aggressive posturing, we will have no choice but to invade.' - Grand Empress of the United States, Beyonce Knowles"

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

Before you make excellent boiled potatoes for the holidays, make your very own gingerbread Pemberley

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

"I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet. I send no compliments to your mother. You deserve no such attention. I am most seriously displeased!”

[Rhonda With A Book @rhondawithabook]

My first piece for ⁦@lithub⁩! Huge thanks to ⁦@Austen1stDrafts⁩ for being my interview subject and ⁦@bookhoarding⁩ and everyone else in this chronically online Austen community 💜 https://t.co/ztHGmqVNbh

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

If you haven't had a chance to check out our #VirtualJaneCon video, here's a small taste

[Kim Kalish @kimkalish]

A comedic panel that combines me, Andrea Schwartz (@Austen1stDrafts) and our shared love of Jane Austen?!?

Take THAT, Dad! I am using my liberal arts education!

#VirtualJaneCon

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

I got to visit the muppet closet once and the curator presented Kermit to me like he was ready for dissection. Also, poor Bert was shoved into the corner.

[Bulldoozer @Bulldoozerbrick]

The secret Muppet storage cabinet at the Smithsonian.

https://t.co/eaCzYPGYoY

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

@nytimesarts @zinoman You guys should have mentioned The Funny Thing About Death by @kimkalish that premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe last year and just did a run in NY and LA. Such a great show.

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

@CatsOfYore My two garbage cats when I fostered them and as big floofs.

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

My level of fucks left to give today:

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

@jsdewes It was so good! I know I’ll be thinking about it all week!

[Andrea Schwartz @procrastiwrite]

Just finished @jsdewes Rubicon. Absolutely loved it! I knew the ending was gonna hit me hard and still I persisted…

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

Call me Mr. Darcy, because I have 10,000 a year!

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

One of the biggest problems in our society is that not enough people are talking about how Stanley Tucci should play Mr. Bennet.