Cooper

I can tell if you’re not zobbin’

[Josh Ellis @jzellis]

You see this headline and you probably think they mean other people, not you.

But you're wrong. It's not just some vaguely imagined poor brown people in some desert or jungle who are gonna die from climate collapse. It's gonna be people like you and me.

Why? Capitalism.

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

We found the American Idol when Kelly won. We should have stopped there

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

@ThisIsKyleR Should not HAVE. I know intellect isn’t your strong suit

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Has anybody checked on the MyPillow guy?

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Hey me and the homies are about to hit up the splash pad if you wanna come

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Cane’s has really lost its allure to me

[Chris “Law Dork” Geidner @chrisgeidner]

A Veep writing room alum threw their phone when they saw this tweet.

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Eating menudo and listening to Owl City. DON’T hmu!

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Who up Hooba-cranking they hog rn?

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Stweaming Portal 2 :) Come watch! https://t.co/uGlPRZ27np

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

CJ’s Butcher Boy Burgers, where nobody beats our meat! (Real slogan at a real restaurant)

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Watching @BrennanLM just crush 20 push-ups was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

I got topped up at Big John’s Feed Lot by Brenda in Big Spring, Texas

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

@theotherslikeus @me2thanksband @djspookyty 🧐

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

Getting kicked to death by film students bc I said I don’t think blood and gore are cool

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

I’m the type of papaw to critique my grandkid’s vapes

[Cooper @prof_mothman]

@sensamaya97 I’m a broken man today