dane

jerry fallon's talk show milk boy

[dane @profanedane]

before the electric vibrator there was the acoustic vibrator

[dane @profanedane]

i hope leah remini becomes the new united states president so we can have the much needed king of queens reboot

[POOPSCRUFFIN4U (alpha male) @POOPSCRUFFIN4U]

Liberals and conservatives are both super into pronouns, it's just that liberals will put theirs in an email signature and conservatives will put theirs on the hand towels in the master bathroom

[dane @profanedane]

“it’s a hot one today” is something that should only be said by weatherman, not a pediatrician

[dane @profanedane]

if you make video games for a living then you should know that it’s actually illegal for anyone to treat you with any sort of human decency

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 @KLobstar]

is this a pikmin

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

yeah i’m a gamer

[dane @profanedane]

ron desantis out here lookin like he challenges people to a foot race and then upon losing immediately says “this didn’t count because i wasn’t running my fastest���

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

Just normal human stuff

[US Chemical Safety & Hazard Nonaffiliate @sexualprisoner]

Brian Griffin

[dane @profanedane]

one time my mom fell asleep at the wheel and hit a trash can that strewn dozens of ripped tiddy magazine pages into the road and i still have a lot of questions.

[inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa]

The person I become when I try to parallel park is the real me

[inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa]

I just rage quit Microsoft Outlook

[dane @profanedane]

this just in: lizzo changes her name to “giga lizzo” after swallowing all of her backup dancers whole

[dane @profanedane]

hey infants, stick it to your lame boomer parents by making your first words “what’s the wifi”

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

can someone please help me, i’m still at the fyre festival

[dane @profanedane]

you know you’ve reached fatherhood when you start saying shit like “looks like a storm’s a-brewin’ to the north”

[dane @profanedane]

i just crashed an AI by having it generate me thousands of images of jordan peterson vaping and dabbing

[dane @profanedane]

instead of asking your partner for anal you should instead ask them to grant you passage through baldur’s gate

[dane @profanedane]

oreo cakester aka a zebra with the fattest, juiciest ass you ever did see

[dane @profanedane]

alerting all men with vans - they brought back oreo cakesters