Bella Baird

Maybe you've been my student at Yale. Maybe you read my novel, BILLY BAIRD RUNS THROUGH A WALL.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 B for execution. A- for perversion.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

So what does God look like to you?

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

My God is basically Honoré de Balzac.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

My God has gamey breath and gout.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 Do I need to call campus security?

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 So let's compromise. If you think you're going to ambush me tomorrow, then slip a note under my door today.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 This is exactly how I look, and I'm hurt that you didn't notice.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

I tell my students good writers don't describe their characters with much. But today! Today I'm ignoring my own advice to describe myself.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

If the freshmen know this is their teacher, they're bound to fill up my Monday morning class, don't you think?

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

You could say she (meaning me) is the equivalent of a collectible plate mounted on a wall.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 Hold on now. I'm seeing the doctor a lot these days, and mental syphilis is definitely not on my list of maladies.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 So you're laying the groundwork for your future career?

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

@CDunn1866 Then I'm calling campus security. I can't have "Light Years" intruded upon.

[Bella Baird @professorbellab]

I teach literature, but there are some #books I love too much to share with students. I want them all for myself. What are yours?