adumb

I'll burn that bridge when I get to it

[ariel @donotdelay]

Being raised in an anti SpongeBob household is a lifelong social handicap and lowkey abusive

[Tom Brennan @Brennanator]

“Liz Lemon, this is Dan Houseman.”
“It’s Danhausen.”
“Whatever his name is, I gave him 5 dollars to curse Martin Lawrence in 1996 and I’ve been on top ever since”

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

Hang it in the Louvre

[Cassie Pritchard @hecubian_devil]

You’re telling me the disorder characterized by moral rigidity, compulsive honesty (even when rude and inappropriate), and difficulty empathizing with others has led you to think you’re uniquely moral and superior to everyone else for your compulsive bluntness? Amazing

[Viggie Smalls @Viggie_Smalls93]

Japan is kind of stuck in the 90s but it was so far ahead in the 90s that you hardly notice it

[Conner O'Malley @conner_omalley]

I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on, and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

Tel Aviv is like if Yakub tried to clone Miami in a test tube

[molly @angelinrealtime]

job importance gap relationship

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

I just solved the trolley probllem. You have to stop the train like spiders man

[adumb @projectilethink]

@ClintonDesveaux After seeing the pogroms happening in Germany, it made me realize that being french in 1939 is the greatest thing a human can experience

[James🔻 @GoodVibePolitik]

God to sit here and betray the values of your movement through the denial of the validity of the Algerian revolutionary struggle with your comrades 🥹

[𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉 Moroz @Dread_Botlord]

Ben Afflek is actually basically a greek hero bc only two women exist for him in the world and he bounces back and forth between them but he’s also fucking his buddy instead of either of them.

[jz2 @mixedgrass666]

Small hiccup in our household media consumption—gf prefers to watch movies that are enjoyable whereas that doesn’t really come into play for me

[auburb ... uuuummm.. aburn.. aunby......🔥🐇 @wonderseabreeze]

guy who thinks argentina is evil but also the rightful owner of the falklands

[剑女友 sword gf ☭ @punishedgarage]

big part of slowly moving in with boyfriend is going “huh. what if there was a candle here” and he goes “woah it’s so cool there’s a candle here now”