Pronto Pup

[Brian Schatz @brianschatz]

Run through the fucking tape people.

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

Well, it’s like they always say in Michigan: “If you’re not at least a yard onside, you’re offside.” #SkiUMah

[Brian Schatz @brianschatz]

A few thoughts on the cats and the dogs: 1)Trump wants to increase the price of everything with an across the board tariff. 2)Trump made it pretty clear he would sign a national abortion ban. 3)Trump would repeal healthcare for millions and replace it with a “concept of a plan.”

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

A key point missing in a lot of post debate analysis is that Trump’s claim about immigrants eating pets almost perfectly syncs up to the piano in the Peanuts theme song.

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

I believe that was the opening sequence of Red Dawn.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Trump: If I don't win Colorado, it will be taken over by migrants, and the governor will be sent fleeing

[Leah Greenberg says NO KINGS ❌👑 @Leahgreenb]

one fun thing about democrats is that we can play good music without getting cease and desist orders

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

I like how they always put a couple of tables near the volleyball court in the hope that some athlete will go flying through one to make a spectacular play. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

No thank you, inward flipping platform high dives. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

3x3 basketball is a perfect sport if you find that 5x5 basketball just has too many people. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

I’m sure all the triathletes are relieved to hear that the water quality in the Seine is just good enough to meet the bare minimum standard for human safety in time for the race tomorrow! #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

The high jump is way too high I don’t know how they expect anybody to be able to get over it. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

Why does every swimmer come out dressed like they’re heading off on an expedition to the North Pole? #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

Why do they wear number bibs on their backs? Is there a concern that someone might accidentally compete in Simone Biles’ spot if they don’t assign her a unique identifying number? #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

It’s funny that some of these people still compete in college sports. I’m sure opposing coaches are like “Well, best of luck swimming against Gretchen Walsh today” or “You’ve got uneven bars against Suni Lee, so stick to the fundamentals or whatever, IDK.” #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

It’s helpful that gymnastics has an easily understandable scoring system where 16 is impossible to achieve and 12 is utterly catastrophic. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

Getting ready to watch USA swimming in the #Olympics like:

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

I like how every event has one overly excited announcer who just assumes we are all deeply versed whatever obscure sport they’re announcing. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

Accidentally watched some Equestrian today and it took me a while to realize that this one person walking their horse around on a flat dirt field was actually competing so that’s one event the committee may want to rethink. #Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

*watching the Pommel Horse

*gymnast seems to do the exact same thing as the previous gymnast who got a really high score did

Announcer: “Well, that was catastrophic.”

#Olympics

[Pronto Pup @ProntoPup]

Volleyball has the highest number of hugs per minute played of any other sport so I bet volleyball players are happier than other athletes since hugs are nice. #Olympics