Sloth🦥

hello I am a sloth & I point out the obvious / DM your pro tip submission

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

The Golden Gate Bridge isn’t actually golden

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Life hack for how to stop hating yourself!

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Your clothes have been to countries you’ve never been to

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Dwayne Johnson, “The Rock", isn't an actual rock🪨

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

"Age" is not a number, it's a word

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Chicken fingers are not actually a chicken's fingers

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

@hayley_spillman Same

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

There are more butt cheeks on the earth than people

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Using "airplane mode" does not turn your phone into an airplane

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Sex is the #1 cause of babies

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Would you want to be famous?

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

You have a 0% chance of turning into a spider

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Can’t be dumped if you don’t date anyone

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Life hack: fill your arms with puppies so no one can ask for your help

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Volleyball is just hardcore hot potato

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

@cheyyennedillon Yas queen

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

Police officer: did you know you had a tail light out?
Me: no officer because I drive from the inside of my car

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

It took your mom 9 months to form your heart, do not let anyone break it in 15 seconds!!

[Sloth🦥 @protipsloth]

I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot sloth shit