Matthew Hays

Laughing with the sinners at the crying saints.

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Welcome to FC Mobile!
https://t.co/wyJUB2Dewt

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

@AndyKindler Turns out he’s not anti trans and he had a trans friend kill herself. Do your research.

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

@kidastronavt Body Armor, coconut water or liquid IV for hydration. Deep stretching, 2-4 minutes per position per side. Foam roller or theragun for muscle knots. Dry sauna if available.

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

@lzcata I second that notion......

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Often Politicians tell us lies we want to hear rather than truths we need to know — leaving one to ask whether they should be followers of our desires or leaders of our needs.

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Found this picture in a bar in Moscow. @brokenlizard should be proud of their international reach! #beerfest #worldcup #moscow #trainhard

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Just saw @NikkiGlaser on bumble, does this count as a celebrity sighting? We didn't match. #heartbroken #denver

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Goddamn it @azizansari! #MasterOfNone giving me all the feels! Thank you for making this beautiful art!

[Last Week Tonight @LastWeekTonight]

We created this gif to respond to politicians when they make remarks like @realDonaldTrump's earlier today. Enjoy!

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

I can cut it down to 4 minutes if it's a time issue... @kylekinane #thosewhocant #giftededucators #Denver

[Nick Crawford @NowWhatNick]

@hannibalburess ... Man, I think you're truly funny, but your show title should probably be extended: Why? (the fuck are you watching this?)

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Been way too long since I've seen @EldrenMusic but they are slaying it! Seriously dead bodies everywhere!

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Not all drugs are good, some of them are great. - Bill Hicks

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

For the first time in a year I was id'd at my local liquor store because I look like a high school senior when I don't have any hair.

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Butch countsady and the sumdance kid at it again? #pnr

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

@Jason_Bower too many or not enough chipotle burritos?

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Life is pain, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something - The Dread Pirate Roberts #princessbride

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Sometimes I wish I was less of a thinking man and more a fool who's not afraid of rejection.

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Just saw a hipster playing the "how much booze can I get with this change" game. #poverty #alcoholism #idothis

[Matthew Hays @prplehays]

Unamused Town - Population: @brokenepiphany