prplhed

I touched a glowing green canister and now I’m experiencing symptoms.

[prplhed @prplhed]

@F0RMATIVEAGE i got this recently and thought it was cool

[prplhed @prplhed]

@kidigami self-humiliation ritual

[prplhed @prplhed]

Lil Wayne orders General chicken with rice from Chinese Elvis Presley

[prplhed @prplhed]

Oh holy Mother Gaia lend me your strength and swag to brush off the bitches and haters

[prplhed @prplhed]

My mother and father conceived me at Beast Games

[prplhed @prplhed]

happy summer solstice and Sonic the Hedgehog’s 35th birthday

[prplhed @prplhed]

i like a girl with a short skirt and a looooonnnnnggggg big ass nose

[Grabbing YOU @tom_on_here]

You messed up Bunnie, if you had only stayed faithful and true, you’d be pulling up Jelly Rolls skin flaps and gently massaging his crusted over foreskin to pull it back and get dicked down!!

[prplhed @prplhed]

Thank you for contacting customer care. An agent will respond to your support request in two a free bidnit day

[prplhed @prplhed]

Arm is so burnt from driving all the time i cut off a sleeve from an old longsleeve shirt and now it's my "Driving Sleeve"

[prplhed @prplhed]

americans: i’m just kidding dude! haha

british people: i’m just suckin the piss out of your soiled pants! right out the fabric bruv!

[prplhed @prplhed]

(Guy who gets horny seeing the Statue of David): We gotta take this thing’s dick off

[prplhed @prplhed]

Applying for FMLA at my govt job for Long Alcoholism and immediately getting approved

[prplhed @prplhed]

Getting imposter syndrome from being sick. In my head “you’re not actually sick. you’re lying. you could go to work. you’re just doing this for attention” Meanwhile snot is streaming down my face and i can’t stop coughing.

[prplhed @prplhed]

Playing mermaids in the primordial soup

[prplhed @prplhed]

What is your bidding Lord Backshots

[prplhed @prplhed]

@SkinnyTuna i read this like the first line in Get Lucky

[Michael Caine @themichaelcaine]

You are only suppose to have a good time

[prplhed @prplhed]

Calli the Moose and I say hello

[prplhed @prplhed]

New Mandalorian movie ignites new pandemonium: Baby fever at all-time high as women across the nation ask eligible men to “Make A Grogu In Me”