Payton Stoppel

Still trying to come up with a clever bio.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

Good men are like good livestock, they all go back to good mamas.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

I’ve spent a lot of night in hotels but I’m just now staying in one completely to myself? How long do I stand in the shower? What do I set the thermostat on? This entire mirror is just for me? This is wild.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

I haven’t been fishing in quite some time so how fortunate some white trash picked my driveway to dump their (now rotting) fish guts. My dogs even enjoyed it by rolling around, how special❤️

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

It blows my mind that people use email as such a powerful/confidential form of communication. My leaked emails would read: “Yes, it’s done.” “Sorry, I don’t know anything about that.” “Thanks.”

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@amanda_cranwell Lmao. Sometimes the kid, sometimes the mom puking around the corner.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

Nothing makes you feel like a woman quite like the waitress bringing you children’s silverware because she “thought you were one of the kids.”

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

My boss made me get a company Twitter without guidelines. Will I behave? Will I maintain my unpolitically correct Twitter presence and get fired? Stay tuned! Or follow @hpj_ps if you want see for yourself

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

With all that’s going on in the world what concerns me the most is how some people prefer hard mattresses over the kind you sink into.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@bstedje Please hold me to it.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

I would rather eat dog shit than make a baby Instagram account and have to pretend the baby is typing the captions.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@KenzThornburg Lol so far this is the best offer I have!

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

For $1 I’ll let you watch me stick a fork in an outlet. Just trying to make some money back after having to buy a new MacBook and making a car payment in the same day.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@BDRAPER98 @CoorsLight Artsy

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@kyliestoppel Lmao. Join the club we will never live up to the Garrid Bob combo

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

Got another great workout in today.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@15GSTOPP3L I’ll just need your soul and you’re approved.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

If one more person rattles off their information to me like they’re practicing their chant for the auctioneer championship I’m hanging up right then and there.

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@ThaneBarker42 @15GSTOPP3L Incredible!!! Would you mind posting some of your workout routine videos for everyone to watch?! And don’t forget to talk about those delious shakes!

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

@15GSTOPP3L Hi Garret! Just wanted to say hi! I just wanted to check in and invite you to join our Fit virtual accountability group! I would love to have you and we are going to have a ton of fun together! Would you be interested?! 🙂

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

“I don’t know what kind of music you listen to but this is Koe Fucking Wetzel” ok Mike let’s calm down...

[Payton Stoppel @pstopps]

According to Snapchat filters I should only have a few freckles on my cheeks and nose. Weird how they’ve consumed my entire face in real life.