Willy Bard

he/him

the world is my chartreuse board

I don't own any cows

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

When I use GF know I mean Guy Fieri not girl friend. That would not be capitalized

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

@funko_wop

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Can someone make a religion that won’t let me watch ads on my phone so I can call someone and complain incessantly about week about too many ads

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

We did it

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Been keeping a dream journal for February. Anybody want to tell me what this might mean?

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Does the leprechaun conjure the rainbow or does the rainbow summon the leprechaun

[pinkshift @pinkshiftmd]

releasing music tonight for the freaks

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

This is both manifesting and a threat

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

The slut I was this spring is not the slut I will be this summer

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

@achybonegirl Yes!

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

It’s June! You know what that means

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Getting a new tattoo just to have someone touch me for an hour or so

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Going to the Dublin-NY portal and doing Irish car bombs with the boys

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

The number 4

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

The number 3

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Gm players

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

New insult: your therapist must have the easiest job in the world

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Raccoons have thumbs. But do they have friends? - the opening of my pitch for a federal research grant

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Bernie Mac smoking a whole cigarette in a single drag in Bad Santa (2003) made me the man I am today

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Oh sure 2 people can make out at the bar but when my homie asks if I want some of his nachos and he feeds me mama-bird to baby-bird style we’re asked to leave

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

Another day of eating an everything bagel, another day of it not having a diamond worth millions in it. Everything used to mean something!

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

As a guy who rides a bike in a city, hitting drivers with a thumbs down to a driver makes them so mad. They expect the middle finger but the thumbs down achieves untold fury and shame. I highly recommend.

[Willy Bard @psyc_ward]

I am in a crosswalk and the Tesla in autopilot scans my face. The “driver” looks on in horror as the machine pulls up my credit score and accelerates rapidly