Krystal Maynard

human doing trying to be a human being (she/her)

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

It's easy to blame other people for your problems, so do that.

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

Overheard in Brunswick: old lady cursing 3 people crossing the road at the same time, “doesn’t anyone go to work on Fridays anymore”

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@george_hyde @TheNewDailyAu So bloody exciting!

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

The last man on earth will die swearing climate change is a hoax.

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@george_hyde Thank you @george_hyde, I needed that

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

If you don’t put multiple exclamation marks in your communication to me I assume you are angry at me. Is this normal, lol.

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@george_hyde Omg you can’t defend this particularly ensemble

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

No one can pull off a top hat. Not even Slash anymore. Did he ever? Debatable. 🎩

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@dancnwthmycellf

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@alidogood So many exceptions already!

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@dancnwthmycellf I knew someone would contest this haha.

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

Melbournians wearing thongs in peak winter are certified psychopaths. 🥶🩴

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

Keeping writing ‘press shot’ as ‘press shit’ - still works though. Please send me your press shit plz.

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

Just an occasional Twitter tourist atm but happy to stumble across weird bird content this visit. Look at those eyelashes 👀

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Many birds don't have prominent eyelashes, but some have: secretary birds sport wonderful ones [read more: https://t.co/B0gYcXIy7S]

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

There’s a guy that orders a 6 shot flat white at my cafe. I don’t understand how this works, how is he still alive. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@pauljlaverty Oooh will have to check out! Lol, I’ve been totally off Twitter but occasionally you or @ruthmciver ropes me back in

[Ruth Mary McIver @ruthmciver]

I have a deep sadness about Mother's Day - a dislocation from others and a shame and grief for being unable to celebrate. I wrote a story for a podcast with @psychjungle. Sharing bc it helps to share: https://t.co/REZqESZwZm

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

There is a rich irony that the model of the 2 broken down cars that have been out the front of our neighbors house for two years is Soarer. These babies haven’t soared for years.

[Krystal Maynard @psychjungle]

@BriohnyDoyle 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽