Phil Smith

some conjurer of cheap tricks

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Cheers to the guy who raised his glass and then took a drink to no one in particular

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Alright if anyone asks, I've always been a Knicks fan

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Not sure if it's the easter candy, the muffins and donuts I ate today, the protein shake, or the few beers I had last night, but something isn't sitting right.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Trying to figure out if today is Whopper Wednesday or not, and with it being April fool's day and all, there's simply no way of knowing. I don't know what I'd do if I was craving burger king today

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

It baffles me that some people have their ex's name tattooed on them. I can understand getting your girlfriend's or wife's name, but your ex?!

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Boycotting the superbowl this year since it is not being shown on any of the streaming services I have.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Act I of the redemption arc is complete.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

I am excited to announce that I am starting my redemption arc

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

It'll be a cold day in Hell when Hell freezes over.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

@EricSaysThings Oh shit, waddup!

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Haven't posted as much recently, so let me bring you back up to speed:

I was in a mechanic's waiting area awhile back talking to this gentleman who has a good buddy that raises racing pigeons and wins prizes.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

heh heh heh, well look who came crawling back.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

@EricSaysThings Boo jersey?

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

@melpat24 Seeing it Monday in imax, can't wait!

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Some people go out to places acting like they're big foodies. Try having a whole room at home DEDICATED to food.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

At a blood drive where they are handing out stickers that say "I just gave the gift of life".

I feel like a sticker that read "I just got free snacks" would be way more marketable.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

went away camping last weekend. there's something nice about only focusing on walking around in nature collecting fallen branches muttering "the fire must be fed".

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Thinking about setting up a local thieves guild as a fun way to socialize and meet new people

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Oh frito,
That lies on the car floor,
that asks to be devoured or discarded.
For weeks I lay in turmoil.
For either decision leads to regret,
so the chip shall lie,
oh frito.

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

My gf has turned me into a coat guy

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

Patiently waiting for my food at @dunkindonuts knowing that they are understaffed, and that God is looking down at me saying "attaboy!"

[Phil Smith @ptsmithiv]

For those keeping track, it's 2023.